If you’re like me, then sometime in November your favorite
easy listening adult contemporary station started playing Christmas songs.
Now, I enjoy Christmas music as much as the next person. However, not all Christmas music is good music. And, not all Christmas songs should be played over and over ad nauseam. Indeed, there are many Christmas songs that I can only listen to once, if at all, and then I’m yelling, “Nope. That is TERRIBLE!” at the radio station.
“What are these Christmas ditties?” you ask.
1. Dominick the Donkey
This one emerged a few years ago. I think it should have stayed hidden. The chorus is particularly grating: Chingedy ching, hee haw, hee haw!
2. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
Okay, it was hilarious when I was in the 6th grade. In 1982. That was the ONLY time it was hilarious.
3. Any song by Mannheim Steamroller
Why isn’t anyone singing? What the heck is a Mannheim Steamroller anyway? Why do I hear a synthesizer? And why isn’t anyone singing?
4. The Twelve Days of Christmas
It gives me heart palpitations to listen to anyone count all that stuff over and over again. I Googled this song because I swear it lasts 12 minutes. Well, most versions are under four minutes. I guess it only seems like 12 minutes!
5. The Little Drummer Boy
There is one version that I find soft and reverend, but otherwise I usually dislike this song. Especially the version by Bob Seger for some reason! All those “ba rum bu bu bums” make me crazy. Can you imagine being Mary, who just gave birth, when someone shows up in the labor and delivery room banging a drum?
6. Happy Xmas (War is Over) sung by either John Lennon or Sarah McLachlan
First, why is it “Happy” and not “Merry” Christmas? Second, why is it “Xmas” and not “Christmas”? And what war are they singing about–Vietnam? That’s a bummer. Why is Sarah McLachlan singing about Xmas in Vietnam, too?
See. I’m confused.
7. Where are you Christmas? by Faith Hill
I like Faith Hill. I hate this overly dramatic song that doesn’t inspire any peace, joy or yuletide cheer in my eardrums.
8. I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
The title says it all. But then the kid’s singing voice says it all, too.
9. All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth
Oh, yeah? Well all I want for Christmas is this song to stop being played!
10. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause
If you sensed a theme in my last three choices, then you are correct. Basically, I hate kids singing cutesy Christmas songs in their whimsical–aka GRATING–voices.
Plus, if I’m in the car with my kids and they hear this song then they get suspicious. I have to act calm, cool, and collected while I’m sweating in order to preserve the magic. I resent the effort.
There you have it, the 10 Christmas Songs That Drive Me Bonkers. Let me assure you, dear readers, I’m not THAT much of a Scrooge. There are plenty of other Christmas songs I love to hear. I’m even the type who gets sad on December 26 when the
easy listening adult contemporary stations revert to their normal programming.
Is there a holiday song that drives you bonkers? Or do you have a favorite Christmas song? I’d love to hear!