Last week I took Will to the pediatrician for his check-up. I love our pediatrician and she is the main reason I was able to breastfeed, even with all the problems I encountered. She and I bonded over my cracked nipples. It’s true.

Anyhoo, during the check-up, the Doctor asked, “Now Will, do you have any questions about your health?”

My healthy, non-vegetable lovin’ 8-year-old

I’m not even sure Will knows what his “health” is, but he did answer: “I eat fruit.”

What? She asks if he has any questions about his health and he says, “I eat fruit.”?

Wait…Nooooooooooooo.  

I sunk in my chair and giggled, embarrassed. Will was answering with what I programmed him to answer, with what I had coached him to say during the car ride! I was a Stage Mom at the Dr.’s office!

You see, our pediatrician always asks the kids, not the parents, questions like, “What orange foods do you like?” The correct, APA-approved answer from the kids would be, “oranges and carrots” and not, say, “fruit snack and Sunkist”.

So, Bad Mom that I am, I had run down the list of colors with Will the night before. For example,
Blue=blueberries
green and red=apples
orange=baby oranges
etc., etc.

And I said more than once to him, “You don’t eat vegetables, but you eat fruit, so that’s probably good enough. Just say you eat fruit.”

So, of course, when she asked, “Now Will, do you have any questions about your health?”, then the obvious answer to my coached kid is, “I eat fruit.”

I came clean to the pediatrician, who, God love her, laughed and laughed. But, really, what kind of mom am I? I don’t make him eat bok choy, but I’ll coach him to spin his fruit consumption at the pediatrician’s office.

Geesh.

I’ve got 5 months to make Sydney eat rutabaga before her check-up. Wish me well.