Now that I’m sitting down to chronicle the remaining tales of our time at Disneyworld last week, I feel silly.

Because, really, who cares?

We went to Disney World and looking back it was fun.

But when you’re there, it’s hard not to take it seriously. Every moment, every decision, every Fast Pass procurement is fraught with emotion. You’re tired, you’re excited, you’re broke. There are Park Hoppers to hold, buses to catch, opening times to juggle, crowds to navigate, walking routes to plan, and Fast Passes to obtain. At some point, you have to eat. First world problems, FOR SURE. Still, the Disneyworld experience can make even the most normal person certifiably crazy!

And so I found myself going nuts last Friday when we decided to conquer Magic Kingdom.

First, some back story:

Thursday night we were in the hotel gift shop buying an autograph book for my daughter. My 6 year old was ready to meet some characters and get some autographs!

The clerk/cast member proceeded to chat us up.

“Have you been to the new Fantasyland?”

No.

“You have to ride the new Ariel ride.”

OK.

“But the day I went there was a 230 minute wait for it, so go right away.”

230 minutes? Crap.

Frightened by the prospect of a 4 hour wait to ride around in Ariel’s seashell, coupled with my 9 year old’s love of Thunder Mountain, I rushed the family onto an early bus the next morning. There we were waiting for the gates to open at 9 am. And when it did open, without a stroller to push, we dusted most families and raced to Fantasyland, calling out strategy as we went.

“You get the Fast Passes to Ariel, then meet us at Thunder Mountain.”

“No, let’s all ride Ariel first thing and then go to Thunder Mountain. How many Fast Passes can you get an hour?”

As we entered the new Fantasyland, several cast members stopped us. The new Ariel ride was closed due to the power outage.

What? What power outage? Magic Kingdom was open and all the lights looked on. Isn’t this Disneyworld for goodness’ sake? Doesn’t Disneyworld have generators?

Better yet, there were NO Fast Passes being given out for Ariel. Visions of a 230 minute wait caused me to pass out momentarily.

But I revived myself and we ran headed to Thunder Mountain.

Which was closed due to the power outage. And they didn’t have Fast Passes either.

We circled back to at Haunted Mansion. Closed due to the power outage.

Now, at this point you’re wondering why they let us in the park at all. Well, if you wanted to see mechanical bears sing at Country Bear Jamboree or buy overpriced mouse ears, then you could. But ride cool, fun rides? No.

We hear a rumor that Pirates of the Caribbean is working and head there. It’s open! We walk right on and 3 minutes later the ride shuts down due to power outage issues. So we are stuck on a boat in a rather dark ride wondering why the heck Disneyworld is called the Happiest Place on Earth.

Pirates comes back online within 5 minutes. I guess Johnny Depp bought that ride some generators.

But by now a couple hours have passed and we haven’t hit the rides we wanted and -gasp- more people are pouring into the park minute by minute to make the lines longer.

I finally make 3 cast members at the Country Bear Jamboree radio all over the park and confirm what’s working or not. Ariel, Thunder Mountain, and Haunted Mansion are finally open. We eventually manage to ride them all, sans lengthy wait times.

But the stress fun isn’t over yet. While my husband and son head back to Thunder Mountain once again, I take my daughter on Winnie the Pooh. We get in our hunny pot, bounce along for half the ride and then it stops. For Pete’s sake, can somebody get the power fixed at Magic Kingdom?!

At first, she’s okay with it.

Then, we slowly realize that this ride is not coming back on anytime soon.

Finally, they announce that we are to stay in our hunny pots until a cast member comes and rescues gets us. Which they did. Two cast members push and pull on hunny pot doors, another takes our hand and helps us out, then we all walked through the ride by the glow of flashlights rescuing getting the remaining passengers out.

At least they gave us a Fast Pass later. If the ride was working of course.

By now it was 11:30 am. No, they don’t serve alcohol that early in the Magic Kingdom. I checked.

Have you heard the saying that if you want to make God laugh, then make plans? It works with Disneyworld, too. If you want Mickey Mouse to laugh his butt off, then make plans to arrive early and conquer all the good rides at Magic Kingdom! There will be a power outage every time.

Have you ever been stuck on an amusement park ride?