Going to Church with my 6 Year Old

ID-1005009I heard that church attendance in the U.S. has been declining steadily over the years.

I don’t know why, because when I go to church, I find it really entertaining. Of course, it helps that I have a 6 year old with me who will say or do anything in church.

Last week my family sat in the very last row of our Presbyterian church. My 9-year-old son was ensconced in Diary of A Wimpy Kid book (hey, he’s reading, right?) while my daughter alternated between her sticker book and coloring book.

For 15 minutes.

Which left 45 minutes to hang out with her.

A couple in front of us couldn’t keep their hands off each other. The woman kept running her fingers through her boyfriend’s hair.

Sydney watched. And watched.

Finally, she spoke up.

“Why is that girl doing THAT?” she asked.

“Uh, I don’t know. Shh!”

“Maybe they’re boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Uh, I think so. Shh!”

“That is WEIRD!”

“Shh!”

Later, communion was served. There were two highlights.

First, my kids starting panting at the thought that the bread was some sort of snack to tide them over til lunch. Hellooooo, Body of Christ, kids!

Second, Sydney got impatient while the wine was passed out.

“What’s taking so long?”

“They’re passing it around so everyone can get a glass,” I replied.

“It’s not glass, Mom. It’s plastic,” she told me holding up her plastic cup of juice. I think she even said, “Pffft.

So the next time you’re thinking about how boring church can be, remember to sit by my kids. They’ll liven it right up for ya. Hallelujah!

Do you go to church? How do your kids behave there?

 

Image courtesy of Bill Longshaw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

 

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I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar – Kindergarten Style

Remember “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar”? Okay, even I don’t remember when it was played on the radio, but I’ve certainly heard of it before. It goes like this:

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again.

I think my daughter, Sydney, has penned the Kindergarten equivalent of I Am Woman. Check it out:

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In case you can’t read the note too well, it says “I am Sydney. Boys are lame.

I found this in my desk at home and laughed and laughed!

What’s making you laugh these days?

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Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice, Er, Freaky

I consider myself lucky to have both a boy and a girl. It’s fun and interesting to see how different these creatures can be!

The other day I took the picture below. I had stumbled into the living room and found this scene set up by my daughter.

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Awww, I just thought it was so sweet, and so different from the piles of cars, trucks, and diggers that my son used to leave out at that age.

But then again, there are some things my little girl plays with that just FREAK. ME. OUT.

Like this:

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One-eyed baby with no clothes

Or this:

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Stop. Looking. At. Me. Like. That.

This last one is a picture of Benson, her very first baby doll and the one she loves the most. When he is left lying around, it seems like he’s watching me. My husband thinks he’s equally creepy. We hold prayer vigils in hopes that he will stop staring at us with that open-mouthed look. We have to hide this thing late at night so he doesn’t come alive and get us!

Do your kids play with anything that freaks you out?

 

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How to Throw a Rockin’ Birthday Party

Those of you who have been around a while know that I do NOT consider myself a Pinterest-inspired Supermom. So I’m surprising even myself with today’s post recapping Sydney’s 6th birthday party. I consider this post a service to the other parents out there who may be faced with planning a party around a ROCK.

Yes, you read that correctly. A ROCK. Originally, Sydney wanted a princess theme. As I hovered over the “Confirm” button on my Oriental Trading order of wands and tiaras, I asked Sydney if she was SURE she wanted a princess theme. Actually, she wanted a ROCK theme. And ROCK as in geological formation, not Rock ‘n Roll.

Once I stopped hyperventilating, I turned to a party planner’s best friend: Google. I learned to search for “geology party” rather than “rock party”. This saves you from getting 82,614 Rock ‘n Roll birthday party results. I also told friends and co-workers about the theme. Turns out someone in my office had a large collection of rocks that she donated to our party. And just about any party game for kindergartners can be spun to focus on or include rocks.

Here’s how it went:

The 10 kindergartners arrived and could get balloon animals, corsages, and swords made by the high schooler I hired for $25. Do animal balloons have anything to do with rocks? No, but the kids loved it!

Next, the kids decorated brown lunch sacks with stickers and pictures of rocks that I had printed. IMG_5051They needed those bags for our next activity, rock hunting. I wrote each child’s name on a rock and hid it in the basement (it was too cold and wet to go outside). To stretch the excitement out a bit, I made them go down 2 at a time. I dimmed some lights and provided 2 head lamps if they wanted to wear them for the hunt (most didn’t).

After everyone found their rock, it was time to paint them using tempura paints. Most kids liked this so much they asked for more rocks to paint. IMG_5084Then it was time for two games. I passed around a jar filled with rocks and each child guessed how many were in it. The person with the closest guess won a small prize.

Next we played “Pin the nose on Rocky the Rock.” I drew an amorphous blob on a giant piece of paper and gave each child a sticker. One by one they had a turn to try and get closest to the X where Rocky’s nose went. (Note: a concerned mom called to warn me that pink eye was going around and asked if I could NOT blindfold the kids. I gave them a tennis racket covered in posterboard to hold up in front of their face instead.)

Then it was time for cake and juice. I used chocolate frosting to make our rock cake dirty (!) and decorated with chocolate rocks that tasted really good.IMG_5049

Our final activity was arguably our easiest and most well-received. The kids sat in a circle and played hot potato, passing around a potato until the music stopped. When it did, whoever was holding the potato got to give Sydney his or her gift to open. Every child, including the very last one, was so excited when it was his or her turn to give Sydney her gift. And this eliminated the classic push and shove mob found at most kindergartner’s birthday parties when it’s time to open gifts.

The kids took home their painted rocks,  bouncy rocks, Pop Rocks, and assorted candy as party favors.  As the last kindergartner left with a smile on her face and a bag full of rocks, I felt like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation in the closing scene: “I did it,” he says. I know how you’re feeling, Clark!

Good luck with your next birthday party. May it rock!

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More Rage Against the Kindergarten Machine

Remember this?

You can refresh your memory about this in my first Rage Against the Kindergarten Machine post. Basically, after 6 worksheets, Sydney didn’t want to color her kindergarten homework anymore and I didn’t think she needed to.

But obviously her kindergarten teacher thought she should!

Well, prepare yourselves.

Now there’s this:

Troubling?

Brave?

Poor fine motor skills?

Here’s the story:

I noticed that Sydney colored this page in, say, an interesting manner.

My first thought: WOW! Somebody’s pissed.

But when I asked her calmly to tell me about it, she explained that she was drawing “background”. We chatted some more and I learned that the kids are learning about “background” techniques in their kindergarten art class, which is taught by an art teacher down the hall.

So she’s an artist!

We sent in her worksheet and I almost died when it came back. But I’ve got thick skin now. And I realize Sydney is a misunderstood artist whose teacher doesn’t “get” background.

Now, before all of you ask for the school address to write letters in Sydney’s defense and ask for the head of her teacher, let me just tell you that her teacher is the sweetest, most perfect kindergarten teacher out there. She’s like if Buddy the Elf from the movie “Elf” was a kindergarten teacher. 

So her question marks and frowny faces were born out of love for kindergarten. She just doesn’t want anyone to have a bad day in her class.

It’s all good.

By the way, when Sydney did see this worksheet and me taking a picture of it, she rolled her eyes and said, “I hate coloring.”

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