Tuesday night I sent my son and husband off to Boy Scouts, but not before I noticed something flapping around on my son’s chest. Turns out it was the Bear and Wolf patches on his Boy Scout uniform. So what? You ask. Well, he’s been a Wolf for 18 months now and a Bear for [Read More]
Fresh or Frozen? A 9-Year-Old Decides
We were watching a Domino’s pizza ad for their new deep dish pizza. It begins with their CEO, who looks with disgust at a frozen circle of dough. “You wanna know a dirty secret?” he asks. “A lot of pan pizzas start out with frozen dough.” Then the commercial cuts to a Domino’s chef. Who’s [Read More]
A Cultural Christmas with The Nutcracker
My parents took me to see The Nutcracker ballet more than once growing up. It was big. It was grand. It was also a little weird because there was no talking. Anyhoo, I’ve never exposed my own children to this tradition. Detroit doesn’t have a ballet company (that I know of) or one that Captain [Read More]
My Spelling Starz
Here are two stories that highlight the fabulous job that I’m doing teaching both kids how to spell: Story #1 My kindergartner and I were talking about her dad’s favorite store, REI. Sydney: Mom, I know how to spell REI. Me: Oh? Sydney: R-E-I She’s a genius, folks. Genius! Story #2 I attended my son’s 4th [Read More]
Sewercide
We went to a trampoline place on Black Friday for some fun. One of the trampoline courts was for dodgeball and it listed the rule “No Suicides”. As my friend and I discussed what “No Suicides” meant in regards to Dodgeball, Will spoke up. “I know what suicide is,” he said. “In dodgeball?” I asked. [Read More]
An Experienced Bad Halloween-er?
I found a compatriot in my neighborhood. I don’t know his name. I don’t even know in which house he lives. All I know is that he has a sense of humor. I’m guessing he either forgot to prepare for Halloween or prepared woefully for the event. These things happen. He didn’t have enough candy. [Read More]
Tips for Riding in a Minivan with Grandparents
You’ll have to excuse my relative silence this past week. I had a busy weekend. You see, a long time ago in the 70s my dad was a successful professional athlete. Don’t get too excited. I can’t tell you his name because my grandma is convinced that internet stalkers are alive and well. Plus, my [Read More]
Tales from Halloween Past and Present
Once upon a time, I had a baby boy. I dressed him as a pumpkin for his first Halloween. Then I dressed him as a fluffy chicken for his second Halloween. I dressed him as a caterpillar for his third Halloween. As the years passed, my baby boy grew in wisdom and stature. He began [Read More]
How to Take the Perfect Family Portrait
He always commented on them when he noticed them in other people’s house. Once, I caught him gazing longingly at one. Yes, for years my husband has had family portrait cravings, an incessant desire for those pictures where the whole family dresses alike while they’re relaxing on a sand dune or whatnot. So I finally [Read More]
This Week’s To Do List
1. Teach kindergartener how to tie her shoes. 2. Buy book about teaching kindergartener how to tie shoes. 3. Do not roll eyes when other parents realize I haven’t taught my kindergartener how to tie her shoes and they say stuff like, “Simeon has tied her shoes since she was 3 years old. She taught [Read More]
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