On Thursday I will register my daughter for Kindergarten. She brought home a flyer from preschool that listed the items I will need to bring:
1. Proof of residency
2. Current health appraisal with immunization records and vision screening
3. Original birth certificate
Check, check, and check! Registration is from 6-8:30pm in the middle school cafeteria. If my 8-year-old son’s class size is anything to go by, then there should be between 400-500 students registering.
At the very bottom of the flyer, was this little ditty:
The first 150 students who are completely registered will receive a drawstring backpack as a welcome to the school district!
Yay! Cheap drawstring backpacks of which we already have at least 3 lying around the house!
For the first 150 students completely registered?
What about the other kids? What about the kid who is #151 in line? (That’s going to be my kid, I’m sure.) Or what about the kid who is #132 in line, but his bad mom forgot the vision screening thingy and thus her kid is not completely registered, only sort of registered?
What kind of school district makes it so that only the top 1/3 of registrants get the stupid freebie backpack?
And who wants to be the bad mom who shows up with her child the first day of kindergarten and every other child in the class is wearing the stupid freebie backpack and yours isn’t? And your kid bursts into tears (if you’ve got a girl) or beats up someone and steals their stupid freebie backpack (if you’ve got a boy)?
Do I show up at 6pm, foaming at the mouth, kindergarten registration material in hand, and stake out a place in the front 1/3 of the line in order to procure the stupid freebie backpack?
I’m leaning towards having a glass of wine with dinner, showing up at 8, not waiting in line because all the good parents were there at 6 to get the stupid freebie backpack, and embracing the fact that I’m going to have to buy my daughter the pinkest, bestest, most awesome backpack ever so she doesn’t have stupid-freebie-backpack-envy on the first day of school.