Ode to my Butt

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This isn’t my family. But it’s a nice picture of a mom with a boy and a girl.

Scene: Inside a suburban home.

Actors: a mom, 9-year-old son, and 6-year-old daughter

-Scene opens-

6-year-old: Mom, your butt is jiggly.

9-year-old: No, it’s not.

Mother responds with a look of relief. Secretly, she decides the 9-year-old is her favorite.

9-year-old: It’s not jiggly. It’s flat.

Mother is perturbed. She does not have a favorite anymore.

6-year-old: It’s flat AND jiggly.

Mother goes to kitchen for bottle of wine. Children giggle.

-End Scene-

 

And how’s it going around your house these days?

Don’t forget to enter my giveaway to The Wandering Reader here! Ends Saturday night.

 

Image of the perfect mother and her kids courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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The Half Way Mom

I usually make fun of myself on this blog. I point out how inane things like my son talking about his butt, or my daughter loving the Disney princesses, reflect back on me as a bad mom. I mean, really, butt talk is NOT classy nor are the princesses the healthiest role models.

My husband says I have a complex. He’s probably right. So I’m going rogue today by talking about something that doesn’t make me feel like a bad mom. Rather, it makes me feel like the half way mom.

Let me explain.

Recently, I was driving to work listening to a local morning radio show. “Where will you be in 10 years?” asked the DJ.

“Well, that will be 2022,” thought one of the other DJs.

2022?

Holy cow, my son will be 18 and a freshman in college in 2022.

He’s 8 ½ now. In 3rd grade. He still misses most of his face when he uses a napkin. Sometimes, he still pees all over the floor. (REALLY?!) But he’s nearly half way to college, which means I’m almost half way done raising him.

(I guess there’s always a chance that he’ll live at home until he’s 35…)

Still, who he is at age 8 is worlds away from who he was as a baby, toddler, and preschooler. And my daughter just turned 5. Five! She’s going to kindergarten in the fall. I’ll be the mom of two school-age children then.

How did THAT happen?

At this momentous time in my life, half way towards raising my son before he leaves for college, I feel the need to look back on the early years from infancy to preschool.

Then…

Here are the Top 10 Things I WON’T miss about those early years:

1. Diapers

2. Ear infections

3. Temper tantrums

4. Choking hazards

5. Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La La, and Po

6. Trips to the Emergency Room for super high fevers, something called Nurse’s Elbow, and assorted Hot Wheels parts stuck up the nose

7. Having a step-stool in the bathroom so they can reach the sink. That step-stool made me trip at least 63 times a day!

8. Noses and butts that don’t wipe themselves

9. That it took 20 minutes to walk 1/2 a block

10. That the whole world and every single minute of every single day revolved around mama

And, to be fair, there are things I will miss about the infancy, toddler and preschool years.

and now

Here are the Top 10 things I WILL miss about the early years:

1. Naps (Hey, I’m an honest blogger!)

2. 8:00 bedtime

3. Sitting–and fitting–on my lap

4. Fuzzy, footed pajamas on a fresh-washed kid

5. Cute character dinnerware

6. Stopping to admire puppies, kitties, and big kids

7. No need for haircuts

8. Never having to say, “Because you have school tomorrow!”

9. That it took 20 minutes to walk 1/2 a block

10. That the whole world and every single minute of every single day revolved around mama

What about you? Whatever age your kids may be, what it is that you WILL or WON’T miss as they get older?

And, hey–don’t make me feel like a bad mom for saying I miss naps!

 

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The Cherub…and the Devil?

photo source

Last fall we were blessed to move into a new (bigger!) house. Our old house is a couple miles away and we pass by it every now and then.

The other night in the car was one such occasion in which we passed by our old home.

My son spotted a statue on the front stoop. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!” he exclaimed loudly. He turned to his sister and cried, “Sydney! There’s a statue and I saw its BUTT!”

I glanced over and saw a little cherub statue. Not my style, but I guess it’s not my house anymore now is it?!

Sydney, 5, giggled. I swear devil horns started growing out of her head.

“Will,” she said in a low voice.

“Hee hee hee,” she giggled.

“Was it a BOY?”

Oh, gr-e-a-t!

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