My two kitties are rounding the corner and heading towards their first birthdays in July. However, there is a distinct possiblity that they won’t make it. Why? Because they are so bad. Here are all the ways they are destroying my house and cementing their reputations as bad kitties: 1. They wake me up at [Read More]
Of Pedicures, the 80s, and Midlife
My daughter, 11, and I went to get pedicures the other day. It’s a little luxury that I splurge on in the summer when people actually see my feet. The nail salon we go to is very nice–nothing scary or dirty, and the nail “stylists” are professional. (Is that what they are? What is their [Read More]
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SNL Sayings to Annoy Your Kids
My daughter helped me chop broccoli recently. I was trying out a new recipe, she was bored, and I put her to work. You know what comes next. “She’s chopping broccoli!” I sang with glee. “She’s chopping bro-cco-li”. My daughter looked at my like I was crazy (I am) and asked me to stop. But [Read More]
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5 Things I Like That Are Obsolete
“Insert Reward Card.” Insert. “Swipe card.” Swipe. “Pay here or inside?” Here. “Debit or credit?” Credit. “Enter zip code.” Enters zip code. “Scan your retina and sacrifice a pigeon at the gas pump.” Wait…WHAT? Okay, so the gas station pump at which I was filling up my car didn’t ask me to lay a sacrifice [Read More]
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The Ides of March and Stuff
I was reminded of the Ides of March recently when we were planning my son’s course schedule for his sophomore year. While discussing his English class choices for next year, I brought up Shakespeare. “You’ve had to read Shakespeare, right?” I asked him. “Only Romeo and Juliet,” he replied. “Well, we watched the movie.” “Did [Read More]
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Funny Twitter Accounts To Follow For Laughs
My son, 14, is on Snapchat constantly. Then there’s my husband, [age not given]. He likes to look at Instagram over his morning coffee. Finally, my daughter, 11, is too young for a phone and doesn’t do social media. Although, yes, I know the time is coming soon. But me? Me, I like Twitter. It’s [Read More]
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The Funny Truth about Jury Duty
I made it into my 40s before I got the dreaded letter in the mail: please report for jury duty. So I whined and complained for a few weeks about my fate, asked everyone I knew about their experiences with jury duty (everybody got off), and then dragged my butt to the courthouse on a [Read More]
