Heard and Seen Over the Weekend

May 28, 2013 By

As I mentioned on Friday, my husband had to work most of the weekend which meant I was flying solo with the kids. What can possibly happen when the Experienced Bad Mom is in charge for 3 days? Here are the highlights:

Grocery Shopping

I had to take the kids with me to do the grocery shopping. Those of you who have ever shopped alone with two children can feel my pain. The worst moment was either:

1. When Will took the cart and shouted “Donuts! Donuts!” while wheeling it around in continuous circles,

-or-

2. When I was talking to myself and said, “chicken breasts, chicken breasts,” because they were next on my list.

“Hee hee!” Will chuckled.

I had no idea why he was laughing. (You probably know why!)

“Hee hee! You said breasts. Chicken boobs!”

So glad they had that puberty talk at school this year!

Seeing Epic

ID-1005947Did you see Epic this weekend? I thought it was well done and entertaining. The good guys are little forest soldiers who ride hummingbirds. Literally two hours after seeing the movie, I’m in the garage and a hummingbird flies in and can’t find his way out. He’s whimpering, too, every time he hits the ceiling.

I grab the dollar store butterfly net and some gardening gloves and try and shoo it out while the kids are yelling and screaming, “Find the Leaf Men!” (the little guys from the movie.) The bird finally hops onto my net and I slowly walk it out. Phew! No emergency trips to bird sanctuary for us.

Stupid teenage boys

Some disenchanted youth in our neighborhood chose 2:40 am as the perfect time to blow up plastic bottles filled with who-knows-what in the middle of our street. It woke up my son and scared him. The  next morning I was trying to turn the event into a teachable moment.

“You know, it was probably dumb teenage boys who blew up those bottles,” I said. “I don’t ever want you to be a stupid teenage boy who blows up stuff at 2:40 in the morning!”

“Mom!” he replied, vehemently. “I can’t even stay up until 2:40 in the morning!”

Not exactly the reply I was looking for, but I’ll take it!

 

How was your weekend?

 

Image courtesy of Liz Noffsinger/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2 Comments Filed Under: Bad Mom, funny things Will said, holidays, movies, shopping Tagged With: , ,

Vroom Vroom

May 29, 2012 By

I'm putting this car on the short list!

Ten days ago the power windows in my car stopped working. The good news? They work some of the time. The bad news? They work some of the time.

So my husband and I are re-visiting the discussion of whether or not it’s time to buy a new car. (Mine’s a 2002. Stuff keeps breaking!) And when buying a new car, do we trade in the old one or sell it ourselves?

Which got me thinking about a classic EBM story from the archives. Click here to read it and then come back and let me know if you think this adds to my used car’s value!

4 Comments Filed Under: Bad Mom, camping, car, shopping Tagged With: , , ,

Experienced Bad Mom Goes Grocery Shopping

April 9, 2012 By

Photo source

I ran into a neighbor while grocery shopping last week. She’s the mother of two teenagers. As we chatted, I glanced into her basket. It held nothing but healthy stuff: apples, broccoli, whole wheat flour, etc. Everything was good for you.

Meanwhile, my cart was overflowing with crap. I did have apples, bananas, and baby carrots buried at the bottom, and I don’t think my family eats atrociously, but really my cart was a mish-mash of tasty treats, stuff we should eat (but probably won’t), and stuff that’s on sale:

The top layer of my grocery cart

I think I literally tried draping myself across my cart, batting my eyes, and making sweeping hand gestures to distract, distract, distract!

Plus, don’t forget this is what I feed my kids when my husband’s out of town.

If she starts leaving celery sticks on my front porch for my poor, suffering children, then I’ll know she saw everything.

What’s made you feel embarrassed lately?

8 Comments Filed Under: Experienced Bad Mom, food, shopping Tagged With: , , , ,

Slow Jam

March 26, 2012 By

You go, girl

I’m sticking with a dancing theme after last week’s Dancing with the Stars post.

I was walking with Sydney, 5, down the hall to the restrooms at the mall. There was a soulful R & B song playing on the speakers. I started groovin’. (Yes, that’s how I roll.)

Sydney started groovin’, too.

“Do you like this slow jam?” I asked her.

She nodded yes, and then started dancing in slow motion.

Best. Slow. Jam. Ever!

8 Comments Filed Under: funny things Sydney said, Sydney Tagged With: , , , ,