It’s Spring Break in our house this week, which means the kids are home from school, bored, and asking why we didn’t go anywhere.
Funny, they don’t seem placated by my answer: “Mommy and Daddy DON’T get Spring Break plus you just went to Disney World in February so be quiet.”
Anyhoo, since I’m complaining about Spring Break, I figured you should hear about the other things I want to complain about. Here we go!
1. I vacuumed extensively recently. You know, because of cleanliness and all that. My reward? One of my beloved earrings given to me by my now-passed grandmother is missing. I’m pretty sure the sun, moon and stars were aligned such that the only time I ever dropped one of those earrings (a small stud) coincided with the biannual extensive vacuuming I did of every surface in my house. Which also coincided with the annual cleaning of the dust chamber and filter by my husband, so I can’t even root around in 6 months worth of dust looking for the stud.
The moral? I shouldn’t vacuum.
Hmm, so maybe I shouldn’t complain about this one after all.
2. Ladies who put their makeup on at red lights. I don’t get it. If you’re that organized to bring makeup in your car, how come you aren’t that organized to throw said makeup on your face in 2 minutes at home? I can barely get myself in the car, much less accouterments such as mascara and blush.
3. Speaking of motor vehicles, what’s up with people who turn wide to turn right? It’s not like we’re driving boat-like Cadillacs from the 1970s. Please stay in your lane instead of swinging into the other lane where I’m having a heart attack thinking you’ll hit me when you want to make a right turn.
4. This is minor, but it drives me Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs when teachers say, “Have a great break!” What break? My company does not sync its schedule with my kids’ schools at all. I take time off work to watch my kids fight with each other and complain they are bored.
5. People who tsk-tsk me whenever I say anything remotely bad about teachers (see above). I KNOW. Teachers are SAINTS and I’m the DEVIL for suggesting anything else.
6. That trash day is always the windiest day of the week. Because nothing says “Ha ha” like the the universe taking your trash can lid 1/2 mile down the street every Thursday until it finally disappears and then you’re one of those neighbors with lidless trash the rest of your life.
7. The Gwyneth Paltrow smoothie recipe chock full of cordyceps (a parasitic fungus) and moon dust. That’s just silly!
What’s got your goat recently? Anything you’d like to get off your chest? Do share and make me feel normal (at least somewhat!) for complaining about stuff.