It’s not what you think.
You see, the parental version of the Walk of Shame is when you’re called for a conference with your son’s 3rd grade teacher and none of the other parents are called. The parental Walk of Shame is when you stroll down the school hallway avoiding eye contact with anyone on your way to your parent-teacher conference.
See, in our school district, everyone meets with the teacher in November. Then, in March, the teachers get a mere half-day for conferences. So typically they call those parents who need help, i.e. their kids may be in trouble or falling behind. At least that was my take on it. And as I stood on the sidewalk on Thursday, waiting to pick up my son from a half-day of school, I overheard two kindergarten teachers having this conversation with one of their students. It confirmed my worst fears:
1st kindergarten teacher: Oh, Sally, you’re mom’s not coming in for a conference today, right?
2nd kindergarten teacher: No, you’re mom wouldn’t be coming in.
1st kindergarten teacher: You’re too good, right? You’re mom won’t be coming in.
I wanted to flip them off right there! I was coming back that afternoon to meet with my son’s teacher.
It’s not like my son has done poorly in school. He’s done fine all along. He’s a bit ACTIVE, though, which has always kept me on my toes.
When I sat down across from his teacher, though, this is what I heard. “I thought you wanted to meet in March,” started his teacher, “to follow-up on the good conversation we had in November.”
Hmm. What did we say in November?!
“He’s doing everything he should be doing,” she told me.
“Thank you for signing his homework. I never have to worry about Will not having his homework signed.”
“His scores have gone up since the Fall. Good job, Mom.”
I wasn’t there because he was bad? She thought I’d appreciate follow-up? He’s doing well?
It wasn’t a Walk of Shame after all!
I think I may have strutted down the hall back to my car:
Eat your heart out, John Travolta!