Experienced Bad Mom

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10 Signs You’ve Hit Midlife

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“Are you a midlife blogger?” the questionnaire asked.

No.

Wait.

“Are you a midlife blogger? (45+)” the questionnaire further clarified.

Well, I guess so. I don’t FEEL midlife, but if the average lifespan is 76 years or whatever, then I guess I AM midlife.

And, as I thought about it, there are quite a few milestones I’ve reached in the last few years that indicate that, yes, indeed, I’ve hit midlife. Here are 10 Signs You've Hit Midlife.

Here are 10 funny but true signs that you’ve hit midlife:

  1. You bought dress pants with elastic in the waist because the ones without elastic in the waist didn’t fit so well.
  2. You went shopping at one of those “Cool Kids” stores at the mall. Not for you, of course, but for your teen.
  3. None of the families at the middle school and high school sporting events have babies or toddlers with them any more.
  4. You have books on menopause, perimenopause or premenopause on your nightstand.
  5. Going to the dentist is nerve-wracking. Something in your mouth is going to break, it’s just a matter of time. Plus, it will cost a gazillion dollars to fix. But, because you are midlife, you probably put some dollars away in your mature person health fund at work.
  6. You Google every creak your body makes and fear the worst.
  7. Bird watching is actually pleasurable, not boring.
  8. Your kids have no idea what you’re talking about when you use famous quotes from I Love Lucy and The Brady Bunch.
  9. Gray hair. I wouldn’t mind it so much if it was just gray. However, it is completely different than normal hair: thicker, spikier, wavier, and generally more annoying.
  10. Anything you read you now have to hold at arm’s length. You are THIS CLOSE to getting reading glasses.

There you have it, the 10 signs you’ve hit midlife. It’s not so bad, is what I keep telling myself. Soon I won’t have to worry about having a period, plus I’ll get some great discounts at the movies and local diner. Right?

RIGHT?!

What is your least favorite thing about the age you are?

Comments

  1. I’m not quite at midlife point yet, but was curious to read your take on it. I didn’t realize grey hair could have different texture than your original hair! Learned something new today! I just turned 30, so my least favorite part is probably how I can’t poke fun at my husband about how I was still in my 20’s and he was already in his 30’s! #globalblogging
    Paula from her life IS love recently posted…Spring Cleaning Series – Cleaning Out the BedroomMy Profile

    • I married a man 1 1/2 years younger than me. Which is annoying for the 6 months of the year that it seems I’m 2 years older than him! My only solace for years and years is that he went gray waaaaay before I started getting some. Of course, it looks refined on men, doesn’t it?!

      Thanks for dropping by!

    • Just a tip from me to you: Turning 40 felt no different physically than any other birthday. I’ll tell you the mid-40s are when things start to wear down, LOL!

  3. Absolutely brilliant! Similar over the pond in the U.K…I’m sooo love gardening and bird watching! Who knew?! I have teens, elastic trousers, am 45 and have every book on perimenapause! I am you basically. Love. #globalblogging

  4. The worst part is the not being able to sleep after 2 am in the morning. Apparently it has to do with midlife. But we will survive… I hope ? #globalblogging

  6. Ha, this made me laugh. I turned 30 last year and think I hit my mid life point in my mid twenties if I’m honest!! Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging
    Rach recently posted…Where Is The Love?My Profile

  7. Would have commented earlier but I couldn’t find my reading glasses and then I had a hot flash which of course had me running for a glass of water and a caramel apple. Broke my tooth while biting into the latter so I had to go to the dentist. I’d go on a bit more however I’m late for my hair appointment. It’s coloUr day! Happy Midlife!

  10. I’m 51 so well and truly in the middle of midlife – hence the title of my blog lol! I hate: looking in the mirror feeling 25 then wondering who the old woman is that’s looking back at me; wetting myself every time I laugh, cough…or just walk home from a night in the pub; developing stretchmarks from a wine belly having avoided them through two pregnancies, and being invisible to anyone under 30. However, the highlight is drinking on a night out in a dark bar and being chatted up by a 20something, telling him my age, pointing out that I’m old enough to be his mother and laughing as I watch him run!! 🙂
    Midlife Dramas in pyjamas recently posted…HELP!!My Profile

    • I totally get the looking in the mirror and wondering how that happened. My mind feels exactly the same and I don’t *feel* different than the 20 and 30 somethings at work, but I look different (hello wrinkles and emerging gray hair!)

  14. Love the list! At 49 I am truly a midlife blogger, a bit worried that I am going to be too old to be one soon. Yes, I spend a lot of time on self-diagnosis aided and abetted by Google!! And sadly I already have reading glasses and this is the part that is troubling me most. Thanks so much for joining us at #TweensTeensBeyond

  15. Having turned 50 this year midlife is a reality but it is not as tough as I expected. There are so many women older achieving amazing things and it is hailed as being the new 40. The things I hate though are my worsening memory and eyesight plus the expanding waistline which as you will know I moan about alot! #TweensTeensBeyond

  16. All of these things Katie as I am ever closer to 50 in a few weeks. I’m all for embracing it but also worry for my teeth, shape and many of the things you mention!! Thanks for joining us at #twensteensbeyond

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