“You can do anything,” my parents used to tell me. And I believed them. As a child, the sky was the limit on what I could accomplish or what I could do.
Get an A+? Check!
Win an art prize? Yessir.
Get into a good college? Absolutely.
Play any sport I wanted? Did it.
As an adult, however, I realize my parents were just being nice. I really CAN’T do anything if I put my mind to it. The Winter Olympics makes that evident every moment it’s on TV. Have you seen some of those events? I picture myself trying some of them and just LAUGH. Here are the Top 10 Winter Olympics sports that I would stink at and probably hurt myself trying:
1. Freestyle mogul skiing.
All those bumps? Going downhill fast? And flips, too? NO.
2. Alpine skiing.
I’ve skied maybe 3 times in my whole life. I’m not even sure I could make it safely off the chair lift in Sochi much less try to ski down a mountain.
3. Pairs skating.
I’m 5’11”. I’d need Shaquille O’Neil to be my partner and toss me around — and I’m not sure even he could catch me!
4. Luge.
Feet first lying on my back on an itty-bitty sled down the bobsled run? I can barely survive sledding on the neighborhood berm with my kids sitting upright in a plastic sled.
5. Skeleton.
See #4. And this one’s head first lying on your belly!
6. Ski jumping.
Uh, that includes both “ski” and “jumping”. NO.
7. That one with skiing and shooting (I Googled it – it’s called biathlon).
I’d be so gassed from trying to cross-country ski that I’d probably pass out and shoot my eye out rather than the target!
8. Nordic combined.
Now I do have Nordic roots (Norwegian), but that only enables me to wear Nordic-inspired sweaters in the winter without feeling like a complete idiot. Nordic combined is ski jumping and cross country skiing. See #6 and #7 above!
9. Halfpipe.
This is more a courtesy to Shaun White than anything else. I really don’t want to steal his thunder, so I won’t enter. I’m cool like that.
10. Short track speed skating.
I would definitely have my fingers sliced off by my competitors when I try to put my hand on the ice to go around the curves. If I haven’t already fallen on my butt at the starting line and broken my tail bone.
Are you enjoying the Winter Olympics? What event do you think is crazy?
Image courtesy of Ventrilock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
I have never skied, snowboarded or any Winter Olympics-type sports.
I, too, would suffer a whole caved in skull.
However, I was at one time a World Class Beer Icer Downer.
That’s kind of wintry, ain’t it?
World Class Beer Icer Downer absolutely counts. Expecially if it’s a seasonal winter ale!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…10 Winter Olympics Sports That Would Maim Me
I am in constant AWE of what the human body can do when I watch the Olympics… seriously in awe. I bend over to pick something up and groan…. Just sayin’
Chris Carter recently posted…How To Love Your Kids…
I love the way my knees creak now when I bend them and then straighten them. If there was a contest for worst noise your knees can make, then I’d win!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…10 Winter Olympics Sports That Would Maim Me
I couldn’t do any of that either. In fact, I have no desire to even try š
Laura recently posted…Christmas is FINALLY Over!