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A Letter to My Son’s Betta Fish

July 24, 2014 By Katy 12 Comments

I’m pleased to be writing a letter to my son’s new Betta fish today. My son received his Betta fish as a birthday present and christened him “Mr. Bubbles”.

bettafishletter

Dear Mr. Bubbles,

Welcome – and consider yourself warned. We’ve hosted lots of goldfish in these hallowed halls over the years. Many have come and none have lived. So if you think you’re going to swim around and eat flakes for years to come, then wake up (and stay awake, will ya? I’m tired of dead fish). Here’s what I need from you:

1. Eat and poop at a minimum. This will help your water stay cleaner.

2. Don’t play dead. Because  **playing**  dead and **being**  dead look the same to me.

3. Don’t eat that sea snail the fish lady sold us. He’s there to eat the algae off your tank. He’s also my daughter’s new “pet” since her brother didn’t want to share you.

4. Finally, live, darn it, live.

Help me help you, mmmkay?

Sincerely,

Fish Killer

Experienced Bad Mom

Do you have fish? Who changes the water? How long have they lived?

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Comments

  1. katie @ pick any two says

    July 24, 2014 at 11:38 am

    I dread the day my son asks for a fish!!! Even though I haven’t had one since I was young, I just know I’m going to be an accidental fish killer too!
    katie @ pick any two recently posted…When the Popular Kid Gets BulliedMy Profile

    Reply
    • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom says

      July 24, 2014 at 6:20 pm

      It’s really a lot harder than it should be to keep that water clean and keep those suckers alive!
      Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…A Letter to My Son’s Betta FishMy Profile

      Reply
  2. Ariel says

    July 24, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    Oh, a fish is a hard pet to have! I hope your newest one lives, and then lives some more. And then keeps living. We tried fish two times. Two very sad, unsuccessful times. Did I mention I hope you fish lives?
    Ariel recently posted…Longreads’ Best of WordPress, Vol. 2My Profile

    Reply
    • Katy says

      July 24, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      Thanks for your good wishes! Years ago we tried 1,2,3 … heck I think 5 or 6 fish before I said never again! {Ahem}

      Reply
  3. Kelly L Mckenzie says

    July 24, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Positive thoughts. My sister picked up two gold fish at her kids’ school fair as a bit of a lark. Brought them home and dumped them in a glass bowl. They grew. Larger, proper tank required. They lived a good five years. My advice is to ignore it. Feed it haphazardly. Worked for her! Oh may it live long and prosper!
    Kelly L Mckenzie recently posted…We Need Dish SoapMy Profile

    Reply
    • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom says

      July 24, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      I like it. I’ve been ignoring the frog in my daughter’s room for a year and a half and after he seems to be doing swimmingly!
      Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…A Letter to My Son’s Betta FishMy Profile

      Reply
      • Twila says

        July 24, 2014 at 7:45 pm

        You could always try a shark. It would at least reverse the roles… just a thought, miss fish killer, you!

        Reply
  4. Justin Knight says

    July 25, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    My wife did a little dance when our son’s betta finally bit the dust. My son was “crushed” for a grand total of 4.5 minutes before resuming his video game. He never brought it up again.
    Justin Knight recently posted…10 Things You Should Know About The MissusMy Profile

    Reply
    • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom says

      July 28, 2014 at 3:33 pm

      As Napoleon Dynamite would say, “LUCKY!”
      Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…A Letter to My Son’s Betta FishMy Profile

      Reply
  5. The Dose of Reality says

    July 28, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Oh, may the force be with you (and Mr. Bubbles).
    We are VERY hard on Beta fish. My daughter had one that drowned. (How does a fish drown, you might ask? It gets trapped in the fairy castle in its tank and can’t move, thus rendering it unable to oxygenate.) Another got a tumor of some sort. That was a hideous biology lesson if ever there was one. We’ve also killed a variety of hermit crabs over the years. If it doesn’t have fur, it doesn’t tend to last long at our house.

    Long live Mr. Bubbles!! –Lisa
    The Dose of Reality recently posted…Would You Rather: Wedding Food Poisoning Or Honeymoon Food Poisoning?My Profile

    Reply
    • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom says

      July 28, 2014 at 3:33 pm

      At times like this, it’s good to know I’m not alone! 🙂
      Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…A Letter to My Son’s Betta FishMy Profile

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Things I Don't Get - Experienced Bad Mom says:
    June 26, 2017 at 12:07 am

    […] arranged before. It’s like they want to mess with people’s heads. -How come I feed the fish and the cat when my children SWORE they would if I just let them get a fish and a cat. –The […]

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I'm Katy, the Experienced Bad Mom. Everything I've done wrong with my first child, I've done wrong with my second child as well. Come laugh with me!

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