Exhausted, I flopped at the table in the communal kitchen at work. My day had been stressful and I just needed a moment to myself.
The November 2014 issue of Parents caught my eye in the magazine rack next to me. My kids are older now, 11 and 7, and it had been a few years since I was a regular reader of Parents. Still, the cute little girl on the front and the promise of some light reading drew me in.
Pretty soon I was having the time of my life. I was laughing! Laughing! And laughing some more!
You see, I had stumbled upon an article titled “Just add bacon.” The tag line promised “How can you convince picky eaters to try broccoli, asparagus, or musrooms? Make the dish with a bit of bacon – the latest kid-food craze.”
Honey, pleeeeeaaaazzzze.
First, there was a picture of fennel, corn and bacon soup. About 5 bacon bits topped a frothy bowl of corn chowder.
My 11yo would eat the 5 bacon bits and starve the rest of the night before he willingly put corn and fennel in his mouth.
Second, there was 1 slice of bacon wrapped around 5 spears of asparagus. I’m sorry, but you would have to wrap 5 slices of bacon around 1 spear of asparagus before my son would even consider eating that.
Next, there was a recipe for creamy broccoli and bacon salad. I’m sorry, did you say BROCCOLI? Ha ha ha ha!
It gets better. The “creamy” part of the recipe calls for Greek yogurt and mayonnaise, two things my son absolutely hates.
Now if you made a bacon salad with, say, bacon, then yes, he’d probably eat that.
Finally, there were the bacon stuffed mushrooms. Have you seen a mushroom lately? They’re not big enough to be stuffed with enough bacon for any of my kids to eat them.
This recipe even called for bulgur. Bad mom confession here: I have no idea what that is. According to Google, bulgur is “a cereal food made from whole wheat partially boiled then dried.” That sounds like a bacon buzz-kill for sure!
Oh, Parents magazine, thanks for the laughs!
Now I’m craving bacon…
Do you like bacon? Were you blessed with kids who eat everything? My son is picky, but my daughter might actually try some of those Parents recipes. Do any of them sound good to you?
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Heheheeheh…..hahahahaha…..
I’m laughing with you! My son would be starving right along your son because he would never touch any of those recipes. He wouldn’t even come within a foot of the table if he suspected I was hiding something behind the bacon. My daughter might try something, but I’m willing to bet she would just pick at the bacon and leave the rest of it.
Thanks for the laugh!
I knew my son couldn’t be the only one! I love to make people laugh so thanks for telling me I made you laugh! 🙂
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…Because It’s All about the Bacon
Those magazines always have ridiculous recipes for kids, don’t they? Have they ever met a kid? If I wouldn’t even consider eating it than my kids won’t for certain. I’m not picky but fennel and bulgar? No thanks.
It’s so nice to know I”m not the only one thinking this about the fennel and bulgur! Thanks for commenting. And, enjoy some bacon with your kids. 🙂
My 8 year old son would starve to death too! I don’t know how it happened that I am raising such a picky eater!
Justin Knight recently posted…Blueberry Sour Cream Pancakes
Are you kidding me? Who writes this stuff? A childless gourmet chef no doubt. My lad has always been a huge bacon fan so I might have gotten away with slapping an entire package around an asparagus stalk … My daughter never has liked bacon so she’d be a lost cause with any of these … Grinning here. Thanks Katy!
Kelly l m kenzie recently posted…Grandma Treats Us To Drag Show
Because you know I’m all about that bacon, no bulgur 🙂
If I served my kids that soup they surely would ask, “Where’s the bacon?” Topping… bacon?
I love asparagus, but I think if you’re going to bundle it let’s increase it with more meat candy, no?
XOXO
mRS. AOK recently posted…Thank You Notes {3}
LOVE the No Bulgur line! How come I didn’t think of that one? Smiles.
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…Because It’s All about the Bacon
Ooo bacon. I love it so much.
I have no idea what bulgur is either. I didn’t even know it was a thing.
Amber recently posted…The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo Review!
It’s probably a thing like quinoa or kale. I’ll probably get around to trying bulgur when I get around to trying quinoa or kale!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…Because It’s All about the Bacon
This reminds me of all the cooking competition shows during which the contestants have to cook for kids and the dishes they come up with show that they have absolutely no idea what children will eat! When he was young my son had such a dislike for bacon that we had to avoid one particular restaurant for breakfast because the DELICIOUS smell of cooking bacon permeated the place and made him nauseous.
Mo at Mocadeaux recently posted…Port Washington, Wisconsin
I can understand a fear of bacon a bit — sometimes those curls of bacon fat, mostly at the end of a slice, can send me running. But the smell of bacon is just heavenly!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…Because It’s All about the Bacon
I am crying with laughter at the last graphic! HA HA HA!! Bacon makes a delicious vessel for any food! :)-Ashley
thedoseofreality recently posted…When You Are Chilly, Enjoy Some Chili Soup!
I know! “Billy has happiness”. Those someecard peeps are geniuses!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…Because It’s All about the Bacon