How to Take the Perfect Family Portrait

He always commented on them when he noticed them in other people’s house.

Once, I caught him gazing longingly at one.

Yes, for years my husband has had family portrait cravings, an incessant desire for those pictures where the whole family dresses alike while they’re relaxing on a sand dune or whatnot.

 

This is NOT my family, but they look good. And they match.

So I finally broke down and lined up a portrait session for our family. With a real photographer! I even made sure that I, my husband, and the kids would wear gray on top and jeans on the bottom. We were going to match!

Then, in Experienced Bad Mom fashion, life happened.

My son, Will, who has worn stylish glasses for a year, BROKE his glasses the day before the pictures. Whatev. A little super glue and the glasses were as good as new. For about 5 minutes. Then they broke again. So he is without glasses in all the pictures.

Meanwhile, my daughter, Sydney, got her face painted by clowns the day before the family pictures. Who knew that the clowns were 1) secretly evil and 2) using face paint concocted from super glue, deck stain, and permanent marker?

I had a heart attack at 7pm the night before the family portrait, trying to scrub the evil clowns’ handiwork off her face. That stuff would NOT come off! Finally, after using half a bottle of eye makeup remover, the face paint was gone. And thankfully, the red, raw facial skin on my 5-year-old was barely noticeable. Barely.

So now I sit anxiously awaiting my family portraits.

Will I recognize my son without his glasses?

Can they Photoshop the red, raw patches of skin off my daughter’s face?

Will there be 1 picture where the 4 of us are smiling and looking good?

YES.

And now, in all seriousness, may I present some helpful advice for taking the perfect family portrait:

1. Duct tape your kids to the couch a full 24-hours before you get your family portrait done. {kidding!}

2. Wear comfortable clothes. If you feel comfortable, it shows!

3. You can choose to color-coordinate your outfits or not. Wearing similar colored clothes will take the eye off the clothes and point it to what’s different: your family’s adorable faces.

4. In the same way, avoid clothes with busy patterns or words on the shirts.

5. Feel free to use props. If your family loves fishing, then why not strike a pose while dipping a line in the water?

6. Leave it to the professionals. Seriously, professional photographers are well-trained in the best equipment, lighting, and methods for achieving the very best family portrait possible.

First image courtesy of photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Second image is one of the awesome family portraits of my own family!