I have now experienced a losing season with each of my kid’s sports teams.
A few years ago, my son’s 6th grade hockey team lost every single league game it played. There were, at least, a few wins in tournaments.
Then, last year, my daughter’s hockey team lost every single game except one, which was a tie. That’s right. Not a single victory from October to March for her Under 10 hockey team.
I’m not going to lie. Losing is not fun. However, if you’re going to endure a losing season like we did, then there are some valuable lessons to be learned along the way. Lessons like:
- Losing bothered me more than them. Sad, but true. I thought they needed to win, for pride, for confidence, for whatever. But usually an hour after losing they had moved on to video games, a good book, or hanging out with friends. It was no biggie in their world.
- Losing builds resilience. My kids didn’t quit. They kept going.
- You know what? You win some, you lose some. Or, in our case, sometimes you lose them all. No better way to learn that than to live it.
- Lots of good stuff comes from playing on a team: teamwork (duh) and also companionship, sportsmanship, cooperation, leadership, and skill development.
- Life isn’t fair. If it was, everyone who worked hard at something would win. But winning isn’t based on who deserves to win.
- Losing helps to refocus your goals. My daughter’s team was filled with first-time hockey players with minimal skills. Unless they faced a similar team, they were never going to win. So the goals changed to more accomplishable things such as “Can you take a shot on goal? How about two? Can you win a face off?”
In the big scheme of things, losing all those games really didn’t matter. Indeed, here we are a year later, two years later, and no one cares about losing all those games in one season.
Plus, their teams are winning more this season. Who knows what next year brings, though!
Yet the lessons my kids learned from having a losing season–heck, that I learned from having a losing season–will remain with us. And maybe we’re better off for it.
Love that you taught them the lessons in losing, it is more important than winning I think because it makes you more empathetic to the team you beat next time. Those teams that only win really develop a god complex and that’s terrible for kids. #GlobalBlogging
I agree about those teams that win all the time! I don’t think you can learn as much if you’re always winning.
I so love this. There’s so much effort put into making kids feel good and feel accomplished, but perhaps every kid needs to have at least one losing season in their life (if not more). I bet your kids will grow up to be more self-motivated as a result of both these experiences, and your positive attitude. Thanks so much for sharing at the #happynowlinkup!
Leslie recently posted…The Easy Way to Make a Cheese Stick Snowman
I think it was the right time in their lives to endure such seasons. I’m sure it’ll be harder to be so positive as they get older and they start to care more!
This is so important. Losing graciously and learning from it is almost more important than winning every game. I remember the one and only time I played basketball in high school, we lost every game. That was definitely a learning process 🙂
Jen recently posted…The Happy Now Blog Link- Up #49
I played basketball, too! Loved it. But maybe because we won more than we lost, ha ha!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…Lessons From a Losing Season
AMEN to this Katy! I have been THERE with both my kids- one in club soccer and my girl swimming. My girl may not be in the team focus, but losing she has learned to do quite well. My boy’s team actually won last year’s championship and I gotta tell ya- they beat the team that beat them for the championship last year and well… That was pretty AWESOME! Ha!
And… I’m off focus. I didn’t mean to get all WOOP WOOP WE WON! On your post about losing. LOL
What I REALLY wanted to say is yes yes yes- to all of what you said about losing and how valuable it really is for our kids to experience. There is so much to learn from our kids losing! Life lessons indeed!
And I think you have to lose some to really, truly appreciate when you win. It makes it that much sweeter!
I love seeing your kids’ sports stories/photos on FB my friend. 🙂
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…Lessons From a Losing Season
We’ve experienced losing seasons before with our kids, and it just makes them more excited when they finally do win a game (although it may not be until next season!) Not winning builds character.
Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…7 Quick Takes about Classic Cars That Are 7″ Long, Nerd Superheroes, and Libraries with a Sense of Humor
Yes, it does make it that much sweeter when they finally win.
Really good post pointing out the lessons learned from losing – you’re right sometimes it bothers the parents more than the kids. And it’s soooo good to build resilience at a young age. #globalblogging
Hayley@ Mission: Mindfulness recently posted…Top 10 Ski Travel Must Haves for a Mindful #MarkWarnerMum
Yes, thanks, Hayley. It definitely built resilience — in both kids and this mom!
So true! Even though it is not a great experience, it’s life. Better to turn it into a positive experience! Great lessons to be learnt here! Thanks for sharing Katy!
Thanks, Jacqui! I bet one of your kids will have a losing season sometime. It’s good to stay positive about it.
Oh your two are so happy! Love that photo.
My heart still tugs when I think about a race my son was supposed to win but lost back in the swim club days. I reminded him about it the other day and he looked at me with surprise. “Mom, I was 8. You still remember that?” He let it go years ago. What a wonderful lesson for me. Thanks, Bud.
Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…Our 94 Year-Old Goes Home To Honolulu
This is a great post. It teaches children that winning isn’t everything. Most importantly, it teaches adults to take a second look on how they see things and that children are resilient. Thanks for sharing this lesson. Please share your posts on my Sunday’s Best linkup. You have great parenting advice.