My Universal Truths of Motherhood

Recently my 5-year-old was looking for a toy. She couldn’t find it anywhere. She described it down to the very last detail. I vaguely remembered it and then realized it was a toy she hadn’t played with in forever.

It reminded me that there are certain universal truths of motherhood. These include:

1. The toy you secretly gave away to the Goodwill yesterday after no one played with it for a year is the toy they suddenly remember and want to play with today. {ahem}

2. No matter how many times you ask your kids if they have to go to the bathroom before you leave the house, they will say no. And when you arrive at your destination–whether that’s 5 minutes or an hour away–they will have to go to the bathroom.

3. The words poop, pee, butt and fart are always funny. It doesn’t matter if you tell them they are not funny.

4. They will not listen to you, especially if you have to ask, “Are you listening to me?”

5. They will not take care of  the puppy/kitten/frog/iguana no matter how much they promise/beg/plead/cajole. So don’t get them the puppy/kitten/frog/iguana unless YOU are ready to take care of it.

6. That dark, square shape on the carpet that you think is a Lego? The one you bend down to pick up and toss in the Lego box? Yes, that will always be a cat turd.

Those are some of my universal truths of motherhood. What are yours?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net