Before going to a rock concert recently, I realized I would be staying up waaaaay past my usual bedtime of 10:30. To prepare, I tried to eat healthily the day of the concert, drink lots of water, nap, and…oh, who am I kidding? I drank a giant soft drink, wished for the best, went to [Read More]
Hearing These Five Sounds Mean You’re a Mom
I used to cry when I heard it. The smacking of teeny, tiny newborn lips. My ravaged, raw breasts — trying so hard to get the hang of breastfeeding a newborn — would clench defensively. Together with the hungry cry, the wet cry, the poopy cry, and the gassy cry, that lip-smacking sound announced to [Read More]
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12 Things I’ve Learned in 12 Years as a Parent
July marks my “Mamaversary”, the anniversary of when I became a mom. My son turns 12 and I can’t help but look back in wonder at the last dozen years of parenting and reminisce about all that I’ve learned. Nor can I refuse the urge to share with you all that I’ve learned. Here are my words [Read More]
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The Shocking Truth about Why My Kids are Redheads
They look at me. They look at my husband. They look at my kids. They look at me again. Then they look at my husband again. I know what they are thinking before they even ask it. They are about to pose the question I get asked at least once a month. “Where do your kids [Read More]
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Experienced Bad Mom, Dream Crusher
“Mom, I NEED to take gymnastics,” stated my daughter, 8. She was out in the backyard doing cartwheels. “You already took gymnastics,” I replied casually. “Mom, no, everyone I know is taking gymnastics. I want to do gymnastics so bad.” “You already took gymnastics,” I repeated. “Once, when you were in preschool. And then just [Read More]
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How to Treat Your Chaperone
Those of you who follow my social media channels may recall that I spent 2 days chaperoning my son’s 6th grade field trip to Toronto. My duties entailed riding a humongous motor coach for approximately 12 hours and escorting my group of four kids through one fort, one legislative assembly, one museum, one gigantic tower, [Read More]
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The Best Beachy Waves Tutorial
Do you ever go to the salon and get your hair done? Looks great when the stylist does it, right? Then it’s the next day. Suddenly, what the stylist made look *so easy* is impossible to replicate. But, you try. I present below my stylist’s rendition of beachy waves, immediately followed by my rendition of beachy waves: How’s [Read More]
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Rejected Reproductive Health Unit Titles
The email from my son’s middle school caught my eye. I opened it and read: “You are invited to come preview the lessons and teaching materials for Puberty: The Wonder Years.” Puberty: The Wonder Years? What, is Kevin Arnold narrating the videos about the miraculous changes that happen to your body when Winnie Cooper walks [Read More]
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Thin Mint Junkies and Other Customers at the Girl Scout Cookie Booth
Thin Mints. Samoas. Tagalongs. Trefoils. Doh-si-dos. If you have walked into a supermarket in the last 3 months, or answered your front door, then you know of what I speak. Girl Scout cookies. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. And, they are yummy and addictive! I observed a Girl Scout cookie booth in action recently. My eight-year-old daughter, [Read More]
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If The Breakfast Club Were Parents Today
Don’t you… Forget about me… Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t… If you grew up in the 80s like I did, then you can finish the rest of that song. And you know exactly what movie it comes from: The Breakfast Club. I was 14 when the movie came out and suffering from teen angst along with the [Read More]
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