You know all those blog posts about how to have an amazing yard sale? All that Dave Ramsey-like advice about having a yard sale to raise money to pay for something? How yard sales are green, frugal, and just plain awesome?
Yeah. Unfortunately, having a yard never goes well for me. In fact, after my latest attempt, I realize there are 7 levels of Yard Sale hell:
The 1st Level of Yard Sale Hell
It all starts innocently enough. You get a new set of pans, but the old ones aren’t too shabby. The kids outgrow their preschool toys, but they’re still in great shape. Suddenly you have a pile of usable stuff in the basement and the neighborhood announces it’s yard sale time. Perfect! A yard sale is a great way to get rid of stuff and make some pocket money!
The 2nd Level of Yard Sale Hell
You drag everything up from your basement. Then you have to drag up benches, tables, or racks on which to display your stuff. Suddenly, you’re sweaty and cranky, and you still have to price everything. But you can’t find those dollar store stickers with the prices printed on them. And there’s NO WAY you are going to drive back to the dollar store to buy more, since the whole object of this exercise is to make, not spend, money. So you use masking tape.
The 3rd Level of Yard Sale Hell
Masking tape is stupid. You drive to the dollar store and buy those stickers with prices printed on them.
The 4th Level of Yard Sale Hell
The kids beg you to help them have a lemonade stand at the yard sale. You think it’s too much trouble, but they beg some more. Plus, a lemonade stand will keep them occupied.
But then you realize you need lemonade and cups, so you drive back to the dollar store.
The 5th Level of Yard Sale Hell
The customers arrive. Most are retired folks on a limited income. They unwrap your Christmas windsock for 50 cents and spend 15 minutes debating the pros and cons. Then they leave it unwrapped and messy on your display shelf and walk away. {true story}
Or they say inane things like this {also a true story}:
Old guy with fanny pack: Is this all you got? {wrinkles nose in disgust}
Me: Yes. {smiles}
Old guy with fanny pack: Don’t you have any books? {wrinkles nose in disgust}
Me: I have a few kids’ books.{smiles}
Old guy with fanny pack: Well I’m looking for non-fiction. {wrinkles nose in disgust}
Me: {stops smiling. Has bad thoughts about fanny pack dude.}
The 6th Level of Yard Sale Hell
After 1 hour of operation, the lemonade stand closes and the children use their profits to buy things at the neighbor’s yard sale.
The 7th Level of Yard Sale Hell
After getting rid of only 25% of your stuff, you use your last bit of patience and energy to put the other 75% in the car to take to the Goodwill. Then you count your profit: $45.00. Inside, you die a little bit.
Then you realize $45.00 can buy several bottles of wine and you perk up.
Epilogue
DO NOT LET ME HAVE ANOTHER YARD SALE!
Oh, wait. What’s that in the closet? The kids’ winter coats and boots that they outgrew. In great shape! Someone would totally buy those at a yard sale.
How do you feel about yard sales? Ever make a big profit? Ever find a valuable treasure at a yard sale?
I hate yard sales! We never get good traffic on our street and the kids spend the entire time reclaiming things they had forgotten about! ArgH!!
Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted…Secrets: To Keep or not to Keep
I feel your pain! Whatever junk my kids sold, they then used that money to go buy the neighbor’s junk – and the neighbor was selling things for much more money than we were making so it was not worth it!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…The 7 Levels of Yard Sale Hell
And this is why I haven’t done a yard sale myself in years or gone to one either! But seriously, if I can get wine with the profits then it can’t all be bad!! Following you back on Twitter now 🙂
Janine Huldie recently posted…More Firsts & Wonderful Wednesday Blog Hop
Thanks, Janine! Yup, I vow not to do one again. I’m just going to be more efficient with donating the stuff rather than letting it pile up in my basement. I’ll drink to that!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…The 7 Levels of Yard Sale Hell
I don’t think I’ll have the patience for a yard sale either. My story would look similar to yours heh. I’m perfectly happy to craigslist some good items, and donate the rest at a drop-off once and for all. But then again, $45 isn’t too shabby. That’s some new outfits for your kids (or wine for you, like you said).
Julie recently posted…Kitchen Cabinet Hardware Update Project
Ah, yes, I loved Craigslist for selling my baby stuff. Most but not all the time it went pretty well.
And you’re right. $45 isn’t too shabby and it’s $45 I didn’t have before! Thanks for stopping by.
This year I made my money on ebay and then had a garage sale just as a stepping stone to the rescue mission (the stuff was in the garage anyway on its voyage)..I guess my $50 meant less stuff to carry to the van! At my friend’s house some woman was carrying on about how much work it was going to be for her to clean the duplo blocks she just bought there…$5 for a big bag-maybe she could’ve just NOT BOUGHT THEM! 😉
Exactly – just don’t buy ’em! Amazing what people say or do!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…The 7 Levels of Yard Sale Hell
Lol! Love this! How many people asked to take what’s left for free?! That was a popular one at our sale!
I had a “free” box with unopened Happy Meal toys and old Matchbox cars, etc. Supposedly, one of those “How to have a great sale!” posts said this gave kids something to do while parents browsed. All I saw were kids pick through it, taking what they wanted and then their parents NOT browsing and NOT buying and NOT saying thank you!
I’m laughing over here. This is so funny!!! I’ve never had much success with them. They are SO MUCH work, and most sales really don’t generate a lot of income. I had one with a friend once– advertised it, etc.– it POURED rain. We sold almost nothing. Now I just donate.
Seana turner recently posted…Organizing By Age
Yup, now I’m a donate kinda gal too! I think I got swayed by all the yard sale stories of grandeur I’d hear from friends who made $300. They must have been selling gold or the likes!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…The 7 Levels of Yard Sale Hell
BWAH HA HA HA!! Our neighbors across the street just had one last weekend, and I felt so sorry for them when it was all over and more than half of their stuff was still sitting on the driveway!-Ashley
thedoseofreality recently posted…Want To Laugh Today? Of Course You Do!
As much stuff as I had, my next door neighbor had X 100! She’d gone in with all her extended relatives. It was like Macy’s next door! I think they still haven’t moved half the leftover stuff out of their garage.
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…The 7 Levels of Yard Sale Hell
HA! I have never attempted to have a yard sale, but I may take a chance in the future. We live in a big neighborhood that organizes one neighborhood-wide sale once a year. Still, it seems like a lot of work for not a lot of payoff…
Katie @ Pick Any Two recently posted…Feel Good Friday: Amusing Ways Kids Get Boo-Boos
Who knows? You might be one of those “I made $300!” gals and then you’ll have to write a fabulous blog post chock full of all your money-making secrets to success. 🙂
You never know until you try!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…The 7 Levels of Yard Sale Hell
You had me at masking tape. Sooooo true. The last garage sale I participated in was at a friend’s. A mile away. What was I thinking.?!?! I earned a whopping $22.75 and a sore back.
The books comment reminds me of Nottinghill – fabulous movie. That chap who keeps coming back to the travel bookshop looking for fiction. Classic.
Kelly l m kenzie recently posted…Big Mistake. Big. Huge.
This was awesome. I really really hate yard sales. We did one this summer with my mom in law, and we’ll do another because she is going to be moving and wants to get rid of things, but the whole process drives me crazy. My sister in law decided that nothing would be priced and she just made up extremely low prices on the fly when someone asked and it actually did work out just fine….probably because everything was priced to sell. Then we carted the rest of it off to Goodwill after. But there is more that needs to go, so we’ll probably do another next summer.
Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life recently posted…Lebanese Stuffed Swiss Chard {Healthy Dinner}
LOL! Yard sales are definitely a lot of work! I had one last summer and someone came with their BIRD. It was walking around with her. I’m terrified of birds so it was all I could do not to hide until they were gone. I was sure it was going to flap over and land on my head.
Lauren recently posted…#ONENEWFOOD: Homemade Oatmeal
Oh my word, a BIRD?! I’d be frozen in awe/incredulousness/fear!
Having a yard sale as we speak. First day I held out for 8 hours. I am trying to hold out that long today. It drives me crazy for people to haggle over 50 cents, but I humor them. I do this 1 or 2 times each year. Good pocket money. Sometimes I organize a neighborhood-wide sale. That gets wild…