Experienced Bad Mom

Not Just a Bad Mom, But an Experienced Bad Mom

The Halfway Mom

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I usually make fun of myself on this blog. I point out how inane things like my son talking about his butt, or my daughter loving the Disney princesses, reflect back on me as a bad mom. I mean, really, butt talk is NOT classy nor are the princesses the healthiest role models.

My husband says I have a complex. He’s probably right. So I’m going rogue today by talking about something that doesn’t make me feel like a bad mom. Rather, it makes me feel like the halfway mom.

Let me explain.

Recently, I was driving to work listening to a local morning radio show. “Where will you be in 10 years?” asked the DJ.

“Well, that will be 2022,” thought one of the other DJs.

2022?

Holy cow, my son will be 18 and a freshman in college in 2022.

He’s 8 ½ now. In 3rd grade. He still misses most of his face when he uses a napkin. Sometimes, he still pees all over the floor. (REALLY?!) But he’s nearly halfway to college, which means I’m almost halfway done raising him.

(I guess there’s always a chance that he’ll live at home until he’s 35…)

Still, who he is at age 8 is worlds away from who he was as a baby, toddler, and preschooler. And my daughter just turned 5. Five! She’s going to kindergarten in the fall. I’ll be the mom of two school-age children then.

How did THAT happen?

At this momentous time in my life, halfway towards raising my son before he leaves for college, I feel the need to look back on the early years from infancy to preschool.

The Halfway Mom

Then…

Here are the Top 10 Things I WON’T miss about those early years:

1. Diapers

2. Ear infections

3. Temper tantrums

4. Choking hazards

5. Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La La, and Po

6. Trips to the Emergency Room for super high fevers, something called Nurse’s Elbow, and assorted Hot Wheels parts stuck up the nose

7. Having a step-stool in the bathroom so they can reach the sink. That step-stool made me trip at least 63 times a day!

8. Noses and butts that don’t wipe themselves

9. That it took 20 minutes to walk 1/2 a block

10. That the whole world and every single minute of every single day revolved around mama

And, to be fair, there are things I will miss about the infancy, toddler and preschool years.

and now

Here are the Top 10 things I WILL miss about the early years:

1. Naps (Hey, I’m an honest blogger!)

2. 8:00 bedtime

3. Sitting–and fitting–on my lap

4. Fuzzy, footed pajamas on a fresh-washed kid

5. Cute character dinnerware

6. Stopping to admire puppies, kitties, and big kids

7. No need for haircuts

8. Never having to say, “Because you have school tomorrow!”

9. That it took 20 minutes to walk 1/2 a block

10. That the whole world and every single minute of every single day revolved around mama

What about you? Whatever age your kids may be, what it is that you WILL or WON’T miss as they get older?

And, hey–don’t make me feel like a bad mom for saying I miss naps!

 

Comments

  2. I love your lists and remember well being the center of my girls worlds and lap time and coloring and yes! Wonderfully quite nap times!
    Now that my oldest daughter is turning 13 and my youngest daughter is 9, my lists are looking a bit different, but I’m still loving every day!
    Linda Kinsman recently posted…Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  3. Awww, what a heart-warming post, well, the second part anyway 🙂
    And I really, really, really, really, hate to break this to you, but I don’t think you’re ever “done” raising your kids. You just have less control, actually, I mean no control over what they do. But you still worry just as much … and pray a lot more.
    Elizabeth M. recently posted…Pick Me! Pick Me!My Profile

  4. Katy- I LOVE this post! Right now I’m in the middle of diapers and potty training and I am so OVER the whole poop-thing!! I will NOT miss anything dealing with the bathroom!

    I will miss many things and therefore, maybe it be more appropriate for me to point out the things that I love about being a mom of a 4, 3, and 5 month old:
    Their “I love you Mommy!”
    Their hugs and kisses
    How they want me to read to them
    Their toddler accents
    Reaching milestones
    Holding my hand
    Needing me
    “Mama!”
    Cuddling
    Listening to their conversations amongst each other
    Having control over their clothing
    Watching them play pretend

    I really could go on and on here. 🙂 I really do love my children, so much!
    Ashley L recently posted…Terrible Twos-Days: “Timeout, please!”My Profile

    • Ooo! Their accents. My daughter still says “poiple” instead of “purple”. Sooo cute.
      P.S. I love your list, too!

  5. Katy – You’ve been the only one to make me laugh out loud since I started reading your posts (PTL!) – but right now, I am crying… (and I do too much of that anyway…) It goes faster than You can even imagine!!! It’s good you might be realizing that now…and hopefully, keeping it in mind… For those of You still in the ‘early days,’ You will even miss the ‘hard stuff’ when it’s all over…and they are far away and raising their own Porcelain Dolls… (my Guest Post)
    Hugggzzz –
    (I ‘found you’ even though You’re not in My 100 Group! Terrific post…) ;-}
    Lynden Blossom recently posted…100 Comments Event – http://www.Blogelina.comMy Profile

  6. Don’t they grow fast! I think every age has its positives and negatives. My boys are 13 and 14 and I’d love to be able to strap them in a high chair for an hour or so. Or have them in bed by 8 (indeed!).

    But you can also be proud of your kids when they are independent beings and do their own things.

    Half-way college is a scary thought. My oldest is only 4.5 years away from college and potentially leaving home- eek!

  7. I will also miss the naps for sure. I will also miss the displays of affection, those seem to get slimmer as they age. But, oh those nasty diapers, those can be gone forever!

  8. My children are 22 and 25. My oldest has Down Syndrome so he will remain home with us for his entire life. One thing I love about him is that there are still “cute things he says” unlike “normal” children which grow out of that. He has quite a sense of humor and says the funniest things. Now with my youngest son, once he moves out I will miss him being gone, but I will not miss the expense of having him here. He does pay a set amount for rent but I am sure our utilities will go down when he’s not here to wash clothes during the peak hours. 🙂
    Starlene recently posted…7 Reasons I Wish I’d Been Willing to ChangeMy Profile

    • Thanks for reminding me that everyone’s family and situation is different. Enjoy your kids and lets hope that younger one learns about washing at off-peak hours!!
      Katy recently posted…The Half Way MomMy Profile

  9. I will definitely miss naps, too! We plan on homeschooling, so we’ll stick to some type of quiet time ever afternoon for my sanity 🙂 I’ll also miss those so cute toddler kisses and the funny way they talk when they’re first learning.

    I will not miss having to wipe after they do their business. I will not miss potty training…using the bathroom before we leave the house, when we get where ever we’re going, and then again every 30 minutes until we get home…and always having at least two changes in case of an accident.

    I also will not miss waking up every 4 -6 hours to nurse. We’ve had four babies in the past 4 1/2 years so I’ve been nursing continually since our oldest was born. I probably will miss nursing a baby every once in a while, but definitely not in the middle of the night!
    Allyson @ A Heart for Home recently posted…Finished Friday: Baby Leg Warmers {come and link up your finished projects, too!}My Profile

  12. Great lists! I definitely will not miss that it takes 20 minutes to walk a block (it still takes about 15 minutes and my daughter’s five). I just don’t have the patience for how slow some things proceed (how about watching a toddler dress themselves for 30 minutes?).
    -Viva recently posted Homemade Pizza Dough

  14. Great list!

    I’m so going to miss nap time! I’m going to miss their soft skin and their chubbiness! I’m going to miss them not being embarrassed when I give them a hug and a kiss. I’m going to miss the way they talk and their naivety.

    I am not going to miss being disgusted with one of my bathrooms, even after it has just been clean (4 males in the house, enough said!) 😉
    Carolynn @mylittlebitoflife.com recently posted…Final Friday (Feb. 2012)My Profile

  15. I’ve loved every stage of my kids – who are now 6 and 8. I miss everything and nothing, as it’s always replaced by something else exciting, interesting, scary, terrible – and you tend to forget what went before!

  16. awwwww, this one hit me hard! i’ve been working on old photos from when my boys were teeny (they are 7 and 5 now…and we have a 2 year old), but they change so much so fast. that saying – “the days are long but the years are fast” = soooo true!!! my friend and i were just talking the other day how it’s not fair how stressful and draining it is when they are small. that is the time that seems to go so fast and we want to enjoy it…but we also want them to hurry up and get bigger so things get a little easier. such a tough struggle!!!

    anyway, this post hit me after an evening of sorting photos from 2006 and 2007. i miss my boys as babies!!!

    thank you!

    • I *should* have put an invitation from those without kids to leave a favorite memory of the kids they do have in their lives! Glad you stopped by and thanks for sharing about your nephew and niece. 🙂

  18. My daughter is 18th months but I am already mssing things. Lucky I’m 20 weeks preggers so will get to experience it all again soon. I’ll miss her loving the word ‘door’ so much + her trying to dress herself when she really has know idea at all what she is doing + breastfeeding. I will not miss carrying around all the crap you have to with babies + non wine time + gastro problems!
    Lou Lou recently posted…The Crown of FunMy Profile

  19. That’s a good perspective to have . . . to realize the future is coming quickly and to realize the good things even in the midst of challenging circumstances.
    Melinda recently posted…How to Write a ScheduleMy Profile

  20. Naps!! What u mean? I would have to lay with mine and it would take them so long to settle and fall asleep that I would fall asleep and 5 min. later they wake up. My baby is now 22 and still at home. Sure gonna miss him (if he ever leaves).
    Julie recently posted…Lotus FlowerMy Profile

    • You’re so right…when my son was 3 and on the path to giving up naps, I would spend an hour trying to get him down and he might, might pass out for 20 minutes. But I was so determined he should keep napping that I struggled with that for about a month before I woke up (ha!) and realized he was just done. And so was I!

    • Hi there! The 100 comments on my blog event is hosted by Blogelina.com. Many of us recently took a class about taking your blog to the next level and this getting gig to post 100 comments on our fellow bloggers’ blogs is an extension of that. Generate buzz, make new blogging buddies, etc.! Thanks for stopping by.
      P.S. I’m technologically challenged so even though I loaded the widget onto this sight for Comment Reply Notification, and it SHOULD work as I’ve checked everything a dozen times, I suspect it is NOT working! So i’ll message you about Blogelina some other way. Cheers!

  23. HI!
    Thanks a million for your comments on my blog 🙂 I was just reading over your post and loved it! You have such a funny and unique blog! It’s really, really nice to see a mommy blog that isn’t the typical “mommy blog” that has the same exact posts a trillion times. I really enjoyed yours! I totally can relate to some of these things! lOL. I certainly don’t miss the craziness of a toddler although I have my toddler neice a lot so it’s not entirely over for me yet. LOL. However, now that ours is 12, I could certainly do without the sometimes embarrassing questions he has! Just today he nearly gave me a panic attack after asking me what something that his friend talked about was. I didn’t even know that much at that age! Lol.

    Very great blog! I love your style 🙂 I’ve looked for a follow button, but can’t seem to find one 🙁 I’ll keep a’ lookin’ though!

    Warmest wishes,
    Kendra
    kendra recently posted…You’re not entitled to stick anything in anyone’s rear but your own!My Profile

    • Kendra!! Thanks for stopping by. I knew from your blog that you might find mine equally as humorous. 🙂 CHeck my sidebar for links to subscribe in a reader, by email, or connect with my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter @ExperBadMom.

    • Glenda, I spent many an afternoon in the sandbox wondering how time could go by so slowwwwww. And yet I hope my daughter remembers me being there (and NOT spacing out!)

  27. its funny how so much of what drives us the craziest is also what we’ll miss most

    although i’m kind of sure i won’t ever miss cleaning up vomit from bedding, walls, etc. i’m looking forward to my kids being past THIS particular stage.
    Brett recently posted…“Gimme” Some Givvies!!My Profile

  28. I took it to heart when people said to soak up every minute because it all goes by in the blink of an eye. With my firstborn now a freshman in college, I look back and see that it’s true- the blink of an eye.

    One thing I miss is that I no longer have the control that I once had when both kids were young. But the flip side to that is that when they’re more independent, it’s such a relief sometimes!
    The Shiny Butter Blog recently posted…Yessiree, I Wear The Crown In This FamilyMy Profile

    • Yes, control. Sometimes I can’t even get them to run an errand with me and I flash back to when they were little and I just carried them to do the stupid errands!

  29. My children are grown, I miss cuddling them on my lap and reading books. But maybe I’ll have grandchildren one day… I don’t miss the whole carseat deal. Mine hated their carseats every once in awhile and finally it got to the point where I had to lie and say the car would not start without the car seats occupied and strapped in. 🙂
    Mrs. Accountability recently posted…10 Things We Hate Spending Our Hard Earned Money OnMy Profile

    • Oh, yes, that reminds me that I used to tell my little darlings that the police would come and get them if they weren’t in their car seats! Sort of true, with all the car seat laws nowadays.Thanks for dropping by!

  30. I’m sure that any mother has felt like a bad mom at some point, I know I sure do! I’m so worried about screwing my daughter up and scaring her for life, LOL – ok that’s a bit dramatic!

    I definitely say I enjoy that she still takes naps 🙂
    Dani recently posted…Intense CravingsMy Profile

    • one of the best things that happened to me in motherhood was having my 2nd child! I had to let go of trying to be perfect for the first. Truly helped me relax (okay, maybe not relax) and go with the flow a bit more. 🙂

  31. Love your post! I have a 4 year old boy and a 7 month old daughter so I can really relate. We were just adjusting to a more settled independent lifestyle when we got pregnant with our second. There are things I will miss, but I’m definitely
    Poking forward to moving on.
    Jamie recently posted…Coming to a Blog Near You…My Profile

  32. Love the post…so true! I miss lying on the grass on a sunny day just watching the clouds float by – and so many other little moments.

    • Ooo, I sense a guest post with that whole toddler keeping her clothes on struggle! Send that story my way!

  35. Katy, when you said “halfway to college” it gave me heart palpitations! Can my 9-year-old really have one foot out the door already? It’s so bittersweet to leave the baby years behind, isn’t it? One thing I won’t miss: all the colorful plastic contraptions that overtook our apartment. Exersaucer, you are a necessary evil, but god you’re ugly.
    Amy recently posted…is La Leche League really the bad guy?My Profile

    • Amy, we had a huge train table as our coffee table for 2+ years! Why mess up the real coffee table? Livin’ the dream.

  36. My girls are 5, 4, and 2 and I think I will oddly miss them all trying to sit on my lap at the same time. “Ok, you sit here….you sit here…and you sit here…” I won’t be sad about going to the bathroom by myself! 🙂
    (I love naptime too–you are not alone in that one!)

    • Awww, I just remembered when they both fought for my lap. There’s almost 4 years between mine, so it wasn’t more than a month or 2 but they both fit. 🙂

  39. I have them on both ends of the spectrum. I have a high school senior, a sophomore, and one who just turned 16 months. All girls. It’s so hard to look at my baby and know that someday soon she will be just like her big sister, applying to college. It really does make me cherish the little things. Time goes so fast, doesn’t it? Oh yeah, and I will NOT miss diapers or teething!
    Stephanie @ One Sleepy Mom recently posted…Scattered Sunday – Week in ReviewMy Profile

    • Their talk can be so cute. I tried to write those cute mispronunciations down in their baby books, but usually who had the time?!

  44. Some of the things I disliked the most, I miss the most. I enjoy my kids now, but boy do I miss those young days, along with the probs that accompanied them. They went way too quickly.

  45. What a fun (and honest list!) I will definitely miss nap time as well. The main thing I’ll miss is cuddling at bedtime and in the early mornings- love those times!

  46. I will miss everything and I will not miss nothing. I love everything and even if it is hard those smiles, laughs, little saying. It is all worth it. And then when they grow up and move out, eventually married then the grandkids. And what mama doesn’t eventually want to become a grandma?
    Clarinda Olenslager recently posted…03/05/2012My Profile

  47. My son is only 17 months old, so I have a while before I am out of the things I will/will not miss. However, right now, I will say that I will not miss diapers, bottles, pacifiers, fighting bedtime, and his occasional inability to get his point across. I will miss him sitting in my lap, the funny ways he says certain words, him not being able to get out of bed (he has yet to attempt climbing out of the crib), and definitely nap time! 🙂
    Kecia recently posted…INSIGHT Movie ReviewMy Profile

  48. Oh Katy, you’re funny! The list (both what you miss and what you don’t) are so true! My daughter is not grown yet, feels like it but she is only 16 months. I miss those naps where when she’s out, she’s out. I miss when she used to nurse and nothing could get her attention or come between her and her milk-now if a fly lands on the wall, she’s investigating it! I miss the gummy little smile of hers when she had no teeth for the longest time! There are so many times I feel like a bad mom, guilty for the things I allow to happen, but I am so grateful that God made my daughter durable enough to handle me! Thanks for a great posting, I think it’s inspiring me for my next post! Hope you’ll stop by for a visit at my blog and I’m totally following you!
    Kathy (Kangaroo Mama) recently posted…Vote For A Good CauseMy Profile

    • Thanks for your sweet comments! I’m so glad you found my writing funny and inspiring…I know I’m following you on Twitter, will have to visit your site again soon, soon, soon! Take care.
      Katy recently posted…Dressed for SuccessMy Profile

  49. I have been doing a lot of remembering the good and bad of my kids childhood as well recently. See my oldest turns 16 in May. What?!?! What happened to that cute baby? Adorable toddler? Smiling elementary aged child? It turned into a teenager……Ahhhh.

    Right now I have to say that I absolutely love not needing a babysitter for any of my kids. I can run to the store child free whenever I wish. Hubby and I can run away for the day and not have to worry about finding the money to pay a sitter or finding a relative to watch them.

    What will I miss about the teen years– the unpredictable moods, the grumpiness, the attitude that they know everything and then some. I do love having very mature and detailed conversations with him…..I love the person he is and becoming.
    Kerry recently posted…Stay tunedMy Profile

    • Oooo–not needing a babysitter! Score. Thanks for giving me something to look forward to. And I hope I can speak as lovingly about my son when he’s 16 as you have spoken about your young man. 🙂
      Katy recently posted…Dressed for SuccessMy Profile

  53. About the time I was missing having my daughter sit with me and need me for everything. I had another baby my son. So we still have nap time at our house. My daughter does her school work my son naps. I miss having the baby sitting in my lap asleep so cute. I don’t miss all the worry about sickness and emergency rooms. Great post.
    Shelly recently posted…My Deals: Everyday Deals Shopping Trip 3/5My Profile

    • Ha! We think our son just misses in the morning because he’s in a sleep-induced fog. We’re on him about it, but really, it’s funny how every morning we just don’t know what we’re going to find!

  60. I will miss those times when they just want to lay their head on you and be held. I just love that! It’s so sweet!

  62. What I miss in my nieces and nephews are the their request for me to draw and make arts with them. There faces are so cute as they plead at me. LOL… I miss em so much
    Marian recently posted…Being ResourcefulMy Profile

  63. You are so not a bad mom for missing naps! My kids all gave them up at 2 years!!! My youngest isn’t even 2 yet and she’s already given them up. Oh I wanted to pull my hair out many days when she first stopped taking them.
    I will miss the sweets kisses, the love for anyone (yes even the car repairman gets hugs from my 4yo!).
    Adelina priddis recently posted…Tuesday Tips – Fresh TowelsMy Profile

  67. This is a great list. It has been a while since I had any of those things around but I do remember them. Enjoy them while they are little. They grow up way too fast.

  69. Well, you did make me feel better. Monday we walked the two blocks to the park. I figured an hour there would do good. Except. Well. It took 25 minutes to get there. We played, then had a sort of “forced march” home. Even then, it took at least 10 or 15 to get home. No wonder I’m running late when there is a lot of walking involved. =)

    What will I miss?
    1. the snuggling
    2. the snuggling that results in little one suddenly looking up and saying, “I love you”. Especially after a trying day when I feel like the most horrible mom.
    3. the fact that grapes and cheese can pass as “dessert”.

    What will I not miss?
    1. the butts and noses that don’t wipe themselves. Oh, how I used to take this for granted.
    2. Being able to get people out of the car in under 5 minutes. (and there are less than a handful of us currently.)
    3. Thrown sippy cups at dinner time.

    I try not to wish the current stage away, as I already miss some things from just a few months ago. Yet, I’m not the biggest fan of some of the details of the current stage(s).
    See You In the Garden recently posted…Weekly Goals – March 4, 2012My Profile

  70. Ah fun post! I have just one kid right now, and she’s just 2. I keep telling myself that when I’m annoyed that someday I’ll miss this. But then again, I won’t miss everything! 🙂
    I will miss nap time though! Or even when she’s supposed to be napping and isn’t..and calls Mom fantically like 10 times. I rush into her room to see what is wrong and why she isn’t sleeping – just to have a sticker on her nose and she says “look mom, I’m being silly!”
    Grr…and oh so cute!
    Maura recently posted…Austin Cookies & Crackers Variety Pack $0.33/pack!My Profile

  73. I miss naps already! My oldest is 11 and youngest is 3-year-old twins (we have 5 kids total). None of our kids nap anymore, which is really, really sad! I will not miss cleaning up puke or blowout diapers. I will definitely miss all the cute funny things kids say at the funniest times. They sure can be hilarious!

    Great blog. I liked your Facebook page so I can keep following!
    Carrie recently posted…Grace or grief?My Profile

  74. wow! Ten years? I’m just almost on the other side of where you are. My son turns 17 in a couple weeks! I love your lists….really good lists!!! I didn’t even know that Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La La, and Po were still around!!!! Naps rock!!!!!
    Jamie recently posted…March GoalsMy Profile

  76. I have a four year old and another on the way in June. I miss when my 4 year old couldn’t talk. She likes to talk back now! And also I miss when she fell asleep in my arms. She has so much energy now. She does not want to be contained.

    Thanks for sharing! I loved it.
    LaVonne recently posted…Choosing to HomeschoolMy Profile

  79. I miss the naps my boys used to take all the time! It doesn’t make you a bad mom, just an honest and REAL mom! It was easier when they took naps cause then you could take a nap too, but when they stop taking naps, YOU have to stop taking naps too Yet you still have to keep doing all the same amount of energy zapping activities.

  80. I love your blog, it makes me laugh! I’ve been following you on Twitter even before the Blogelina comment event.

    I’m a stepmom and I wasn’t around during the baby years, but one our boys is almost nine and he’s already grown up SO fast I am totally unprepared!

    I will definitely miss when the days when cuddling is no longer a favorite past time.
    We are almost there already but I can already feel the pain when he’s too “cool” to yell back “love you too!!” as he runs to class.
    I will miss the sweet smell of a child as it is replaced by the smell of a sweaty adolescent boy!
    I DO love the new, “cool-guy” lingo he’s picking up tho: “what’s up, Becky?” and “let’s bounce.”

    Thanks for the eye-opener – it made me think, too!
    And I won’t miss stepping on lego pieces 90 million times a day.

    • I’m so happy that my blog makes you laugh! And thanks for following. 🙂 Legos—oh my word, they are everywhere!! At least my little one is big enough not to put them in her mouth, but my 8-y-old just keeps getting more and more Legos. They multiply and are taking over!

  81. love love love it!!!! i do a food blog and i usually do a short story before i dive into my recipe. i am gonna have to do a top ten of my own b/c i have to of my own and trust me, i struggle every day. they are all of 5 and 3. yikes! this was such a funny read! great job

    • Thank you, thank you!! I love that people have been able to relate to this post and also be entertained by it. Enjoy your crazy days with a 5 and 3 year old!

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