Thin Mint Junkies and Other Customers at the Girl Scout Cookie Booth

Thin Mints. Samoas. Tagalongs.

Trefoils. Doh-si-dos.

If you have walked into a supermarket in the last 3 months, or answered your front door, then you know of what I speak.

Girl Scout cookies. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. And, they are yummy and addictive!

I observed a Girl Scout cookie booth in action recently. My eight-year-old daughter, a first year Brownie, worked a shift with her troop at the grocery store. While she was embarrassed (like, TOTS) that I was there, she did permit me to stand behind a stack of Mountain Dew for 30 minutes while she worked.

Peering out from fortress of cans, I was amazed to see that although people come in different shapes and sizes, there are only a half-dozen types of customers. These 6 types pretty much describe everyone who ever bought Girl Scout cookies.

Here, for your enjoyment, are the 6 types of customers at the Girl Scout cookie booth:

1. The Thin Mint Junkie

The Thin Mint Junkie’s hair is a mess. She has a crazed look in her eye. She clutches cash in her shaking, outstretched hand. “Thin mints,” she whispers. “Thin mints!” she cries more urgently.

Upon receiving her box of chocolate gold, she races to her car where she’s spotted ripping it open and shoving an entire sleeve into her mouth.

2. The Philanthropist

The Philanthropist doesn’t buy cookies. The philanthropist donates cash with a smile and includes well-wishes for success. (I honestly didn’t know people did this until I saw it in action multiple time over 30 minutes!)

3. The Ladies Formerly Known as Girl Scouts

Maybe it was 50 years ago. Maybe it was 5 years ago. In any case, there are a lot of wistful women buying cookies and fondly reminiscing about their time as a Daisy, Brownie, or Girl Scout. And I thank them for their patronage!

4. The Normal Norman

This is your average customer, who nods “yes” when asked by some bubbly Brownies “Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?” They might not have planned on buying any cookies that day, but the Normal Normans have some expendable spending money, a big heart, and a hungry stomach. Average purchase is 1-2 boxes.

5. The “No Thanks I’ve [insert valid excuse here]” people

This is me. Every week I go grocery shopping, I have to turn down the Girl Scouts selling cookies. Why? Because I’ve already shoved 12 boxes into my face purchased enough cookies to last a lifetime from my own Girl Scout. Other “No Thanks I’ve [insert valid excuse here]” customers may have purchased cookies already from friends, neighbors or coworkers.

6. The Negative Nelly

Technically, these folks aren’t even customers because they aren’t buying what you’re adorable Girl Scout is selling. The Negative Nellies refuse to make eye contact and pretend not to hear an eight-year-old ask them if they’d like to buy cookies. Basically, these customers blow you off before scurrying home to their mother’s basement (just a guess, but if true, then it’s probably better for all of us!)

There you  have it, the Thin Mint Junkies and other types of customers at the Girl Scout cookie booth. Did I miss a type? Which type of Girl Scout cookie customer are you? Or tell me what your favorite Girl Scout Cookie is? I love Trefoils, those delectable shortbread morsels of joy.

 

“Girl Scout Cookies” by  David Lofink is used under a  Creative Commons license. Text has been added.