Dear Anxious Working Mom Going Back To Work,
I wish I could give you the gift of hindsight and the peace it brings, but I can’t. Yet I will tell you what I wish I had known 10 years ago when I went back to work after having my baby.
Daycare isn’t so bad after all. Your baby will make friends, learn, and be loved and cared for. You might make new friends there, too. The other moms all work so it’s a haven for acceptance and non-judgment. It will be a village, Working Mom, and you need one.
Your baby will not love your daycare provider more than you. Yes, it’s possible that one day she may call her “Mama” before she catches herself, but that’s an innocent slip. She’s probably said it to your husband at least once. It’s flattering, really, that yours is the name she thinks of when she wants someone to take care of her and love her unconditionally.
That meeting you missed at work when she was sick? That whole week you missed because she couldn’t kick a fever? It doesn’t matter now and it really never mattered much at all. The earth kept spinning.
Working Mom, you will get some semblance of your life back one day. It will not always be washing bottles and preparing more for tomorrow before starting the bedtime routine every night. You’ll be able to sit and watch a Hallmark movie on your own one day in the future while she runs around with the neighborhood kids. You might even miss her a little during that time, too.
One day, Working Mom, you’ll be giving advice to women who left the workforce and want back in. You’ll have first-hand experience with flex hours, after school care, and sick child care. You’ll be the expert on what meals in a crock pot the whole family will enjoy and how to balance homework and activities in the evening. It’ll feel good, Working Mom, knowing that you can help others because you’ve been there.
In 10 years, Working Mom, you may be in the same job and at the same company. You may have taken a job with a different company. You may have been promoted. However, let me stress what will be the same: you will have been with the same child, loving her, day in and day out for all of those 10 years. You didn’t miss the most important years after all. Remember how you were there for all of them and continue to be?
Oh, Anxious Working Mom Going Back to Work, if there’s one thing I would tell you it’s this: don’t be anxious. Live each day to the fullest, doing what you love for who you love. So many of us have gone down this road before and we’re here for you. You and your baby are going to be just fine. Even great.
Signed,
A Former Anxious Working Mom
For the lighter side of life as a working mother check out these posts:
This post originally appeared on Good Mother Project.
Such a worthy post, Katy. I know it’ll help a lot of anxious moms. Loved the Hallmark movie reference. For me, it was being able to sit and read a book while my kids were splashing in the lake. I never, ever thought the day would come. And it did. Now, I find myself thinking “how can that be 17 years ago?”
I agree that while you’re in the thick of it, you wonder if you’ll ever come up for air. And then you do! It might take years but it’ll happen.
Katy recently posted…To the Anxious Working Mom Going Back To Work
I love this letter so much. Sharing everywhere. <3
Well thank you Chris!
XOXO
Katy recently posted…To the Anxious Working Mom Going Back To Work
This is really frank and relatable and will help a lot of people. What I really need is an open letter to the Frustrated Mom Desperate To Go Back To Work But Struggling To Find A Flexible Job That Works Around Childcare. I know once I find one I’ll feel all this and not want to leave her and miss her terribly. But right now I just want to work again. #GlobalBlogging
Nursery whines recently posted…Nursery Whines has moved
Oh, good luck! I’m sure it exists and I wish you a quick and successful way to find it. Take care!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…To the Anxious Working Mom Going Back To Work
Important words addressing, from experience, the thing working-outside-the-home moms worry about. I especially loved your take on a child calling the caretaker “mama”. Brilliant and beautiful!
And that happened to me both when I worked as a daycare teacher and then later when I was a daycare mom. It can really mess with your head unless you realize it’s an easy, honest mistake – and flattering really.
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…To the Anxious Working Mom Going Back To Work
I’m don’t think I am an anxious working mum anymore, just a tired one. The 3am Stockholm/Sydney starts are starting to really kick in… at least I finish work before lunch, then have a nap, then can pick up the kids early from day care. Extreme mothering….
Lou recently posted…Moving to Sweden – part 2
Make TSH make you a magic energy drink with Swedish stuff in it. Meatballs? Lutefisk? No need to thank me for that stellar idea. 🙂
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…To the Anxious Working Mom Going Back To Work
So lovely, Katy. When I went back to work my daughter stayed home with dad. My sons later came to work with me, since I was teaching preschool at that point. It wasn’t until my youngest was almost 2 that I had to drop them off and go, and it was HARD! But they survived and thrived and I”m thankful for the day care friends and teachers they interacted with.
Rabia @ The Liebers recently posted…Overwhelmed
This is so true! In South Africa you get 4 months leave, then it’s back to work. daycare is 5 days a week, (7 am – 5 pm)and is a natural transition from that age. The first few days are hard, but it gets easier, your kid loves it and you have a lot of support from the teachers. My kids all had a blast! Great read! #globalblogging
Oh yes, that anxiety. I hear you. It’s so hard to quell, but you have shared some very real goodness here with all of us. Thanks Katy!
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