The Truth about Thank You Notes

I was skimming Facebook and came across a post from Hallmark about helping kids write thank you notes. As it is January, and the presents have long been opened, played with, and put away, I have no excuse for not making my kids write thank you notes.

Except that it’s torture.

I know, I’m whining. But what parent can get their 8-year-old off Club Penguin and writing thank you notes? What prekindergartener can even write thank you notes? (If your child is the prekindergartener who CAN write thank you notes, then congratulations and goody for you. I wish you well on your blog “MyKidIsPerfect.com”)

“Sometimes it’s like pulling teeth to get kids to write a thank-you note,” starts the Hallmark post. Ok. We’re off to a good start. But from there it just pissed me off.

According to Hallmark, I should take my kids shopping at the Hallmark store to buy thank you notes. “Kids picking out their favorite thank-you notes from the store is a great way to get them excited.” Really? My 8-year-old could care less–unless I buy him the overpriced Angry Bird at the Hallmark store. And then I’ll have purchased thank you notes and an Angry Bird and I’ll still have an 8-year-old who will whine til the cows come home about writing his thank you notes.

Then, per Hallmark’s blog post, I’m supposed to let my 5-year-old color her thank you notes since she can’t write.  Or stamp her palm onto the notes. “No one expects fine art, just a little effort is enough,” cheers the Hallmark post. Fine, except my 5-year-old always wants me to SAVE her art. Mailing it to Aunt Beatrice is not going to cut it. And being a bad mom, I have no desire to dip my kid’s palm in ink to make fancy thank you notes anyway. That’s a lot of mess and clean up Hallmark! And didn’t I just drag my kids to your store to buy fancy thank you notes anyway?

The next idea from Hallmark made me pause, too: “They can make a rebus-style card using stickers, so they can show their thanks using pictures and words. ” I went to a pretty high-falutin’ university and was awarded a J. William Fulbright scholarship for graduate study, but I have no clue what a rebus-style card is. Thanks for making me feel like an uncreative dunce, Hallmark. Let’s hope I know how to drive a car and use that thing called money so I can make it to your store and buy the thank you notes after all!

Finally, Hallmark writes “Don’t forget to praise, praise, praise your kid for going the extra mile to say thank you. Let them know how it pays off in the end—they feel good and they’ve made someone else’s day!” Well, they certainly won’t have made my day, that’s for sure. I’ll be in a corner covered in ink from the stamp pad, trying to sneak my 5-year-old’s art into envelopes without her knowing, while my 8-year-old squeezes his darn Angry Bird over and over (cue devilish Angry Bird laughter) while his thank you notes remain blank and untouched, feeling like crap about myself because I don ‘t know what a rebus-style card is after all.

But good job kids!! You rock!!

Note: I actually really like my Hallmark store. But whoever wrote their thank you note post must NOT have children. Or maybe they’re the ones writing that “MyKidIsPerfect.com” blog…