Experienced Bad Mom

Not Just a Bad Mom, But an Experienced Bad Mom

Help Wanted

By

Wanted

Experienced Bad Mom seeks stealthy individual capable of successfully tossing children’s artwork into the trash.

Minimum requirements:

  • 3-5 years of progressive responsibility getting rid of mountains of drawings, paintings, and the like.
  • Must be able to bury artwork so that children cannot find it when they look in the trash.
  • Must be able to show no remorse or guilt.
  • Experience identifying 1-2 archival-quality pieces per year to save for posterity is desired.
  • Ability to quickly sort artwork into trash or recycling is a plus.

Please forward cover letter, resume, and at least one reference to ExperiencedBadMom {at} gmail {dot} com. If called for an interview, please prepare a role play on the topic “Mom! How did my drawing/painting get in the trash????”

Pay is commensurate with experience. Pay may consist of children’s artwork.

 

Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

 

Comments

  1. Sorry… I would so fail at that job! I still have boxes of my children’s things…packed and in storage currently…much to their dismay… Good luck finding someone… (My Porcelain Doll would be a good candidate…!!) ;-}
    Lynden recently posted…Digital Photo Restorations !My Profile

    • I’ve got the opposite problem–my 5-year-old wants me to save everything! And I try…but then the piles, oh my!

  4. Too funny! I just recently offered my adult kids all their artwork/school projects. They only took about 10%, so I dumped most of the rest. Once they’re older, you don’t have to be sneaky…they don’t want it either!

    • There’s hope! I know, it’s not like I’m walking around all day feeling sad that I don’t know what happened to all my creations from the 70s and 80s.

  6. I would not be good for this job, I have enough of a time keeping my own papers under control.

    Funny timing: in my last blog I wrote about a 3 1/2 year old who said we should throw one of the other kids in the trash. Perhaps I could forward you his resume. : )

    This is my first visit from SITS – love your tag line and tone – smiles all around.
    Aruna – Young Yoga Masters recently posted…A Challenging Classroom Management Situation – What Would You Do?My Profile

    • Thanks for visiting! I haven’t gotten any resumes yet, so the job is still available if the 3 1/2 year old is interested. 🙂

    • Glad you dropped by! Yes, I need luck…my 5-year-old ALWAYS notices when one of her less than stellar scribbles finds its way into the very bottom of the trash, even under mounds of other stuff. It’s like they have “Mom-threw-my-art-away” radar!

  8. I really thought I wouldn’t have this problem anymore since my kids are 13-21 now. My 17-year old is an artist, so there’s that. And my 21-year old just did a mosaic out of eggshells for her History of Creativity class. Seriously, what am I supposed to do with those?

    Good luck.

    Stopping by from SITS. Have a great weekend.
    misssrobin recently posted…I WILL Change the WorldMy Profile

    • That guilt gets me everytime. usually I’m able to finally toss something on my 3rd try! Glad you stopped by.

  10. I saw this idea about taking pictures of the artwork instead of keeping them. If there are a few things that you know your kids really love, or that you really love take a pic of it, then toss out the original. That way you can still go back and look at it without all of the mess!

    do I get the job for most creative?? LOL
    stopping by from sits.
    bonnie recently posted…Just Sayin Friday ~ Grammar and PunctuationMy Profile

    • You’re hired! you can take pictures, upload and print them, and organize for me. And I’ll pay you in children’s artwork. 🙂

  11. {Melinda} I am so glad my kids are past this stage, because I literally felt ill when I threw away one of their drawings. And I’d feel even worse when they’d discovered I had! My daughter’s favorite line when she found something I’d thrown out was, “You’re throwing away my childhood!” You have to be pretty cold not to feel like a piece of trash yourself when your child tells you that! 🙂

    But since I don’t have the money or room to build an addition on my house, some things had to go to the dumpster. She’ll just have to visit “her childhood” at the local landfill. 🙂

    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog today. Subscribing to yours …:)
    Mothering From Scratch recently posted…Saturday Morning Fantasies: Capes OptionalMy Profile

    • Ahhh, the guilt! But you’re right–if we don’t purge, we’d have to build rooms on to our houses to store it all! Thanks for dropping by. Glad we found each other!

  12. I would fail at this job … but my husband would probably be quite successful at it … or at least he is when he does this around our house. It is thanks to him that we do not have large piles of child-created artwork (and we only have one daughter and she just finished Kindergarten). I can’t wait to explore your blog more! (stopping by from SITS)

  13. Oh, this is so funny! Just find a really big cupboard where you can keep it until the kids decide themselves that it’s time to throw it out. It worked for my mom!
    BarefootMedStudent recently posted…PB Cookies!My Profile

    • I’ve got a pile going on the bottom of the telephone table. Now if they would only stop bringing home the big, odd sized projects that do not fit anywhere! 🙂

  14. I can do it! I am just that much of a crap mom that does throw the endless amout on “crafts”, “drawings”, “cards”, etc etc out. I just don’t love the clutter. Yes, I know what a shitty mom my boys have:(
    Not Winning Mom of the Year recently posted…RandomnessMy Profile

  18. Hysterical. I throw away my children’s art and school work, but I never let them do the recycling or the trash. They only empty only their room trash can and the bathroom trash can and never touch the recycling bin. That would be disastrous. I take pictures of their art work, with the intention of putting them in a nice picture book someday….who knows if they will ever get off the camera!
    Laura @ Pruning Princesses recently posted…The Lateover solution to Slumber PartiesMy Profile

    • I usually have a pile of artwork going at all times for Grandma to pick up the next time she visits. But there’s still plenty left over! Hey, what’s your address? 😉

  21. This experience has happened to me on more than one occasion. I have to say, I am getting better at the explanation as to why the artwork was found in the trash (despite trying to hide it). “But this artwork is clearly not as exceptional as some of your other work.” I have a bin where I keep the good stuff. Even that is getting pretty full. Luckily the artwork lessens as they get older!

    Happy SITS Day!
    another jennifer recently posted…Philanthropy Friday: Gifts That Give BackMy Profile

  22. When I explained this phenomena to my daughter she understood. She enjoys helping me to decide which things are worth saving. My son, on the other hand, blew a gasket when he found his mostly completed worksheet in the trash. My advice–fold it in half, crease well, and slide down the edge of the trash can.
    Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted…Calming CaddyMy Profile

  23. OOOOOoooo MMMMMM Geeeeeee! I can soooo relate to THIS! My daughters (4,2) bring home at least 3-5 pictures a day! The four year old collects pictures all day in school, and then when they both go to Kids Care when I go to the gym, the 2 year old colors the entire time I’m working out! Sometimes 3-4 pictures…IN AN HOUR! She even has a fit if she leaves without them! I throw them away as soon as the kids go to sleep! Some of them I do keep. I place them in a file organizer. I have them organized by years. It’s good because it keepst the pictures out of my way and they are safe so that when the girls get older, they can go back and look at them.
    Britton recently posted…Feature Friday and GIVEAWAY: Designs by DannyMy Profile

  24. So funny! And my kids are artists and take classes, so they are constantly drawing! Can I have the list of applicants when you’re done? I need someone, too!!
    Happy SITS Day!

    • Will pass that list along. This post did introduce me to HappyDoodles.com. It’s a company run by a mom who scans artwork and makes stuffed animals from it. Too cute!

  29. I am definitely not the woman for this job, for I feel your pain! I have been caught red handed with stacks of artwork heading to the recycling bin. The guilt almost kills me. And of course it never helps that I get the extremely hurt look from my children which says, “How could you possibly throw my precious art work away when I worked so hard on it?”. My daughter has been known to pull the artwork back out of the recycling bin. It is a nasty cycle!

    Thanks for the giggle. Happy belated SITS day to you too!
    Kim recently posted…Virtual MoveMy Profile

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