Experienced Bad Mom

Not Just a Bad Mom, But an Experienced Bad Mom

10 Life Lessons I Want My Kids To Learn

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The kitchen area at my work was flooded with bubbles recently.

They were everywhere, in every single nook and cranny. It was a giant mess that thankfully I didn’t have to clean up.

The cause of the bubbly disaster? A young coworker had put dish washing liquid in the dishwasher instead of dishwasher detergent.

Oops!

As a mom, it made me realize that there are more life lessons I need to teach my kids than how to read, or live by the Golden Rule, for example.Here are 10 Life Lessons I Want to Teach My Kids. Like don't put dishwashing soap in the dishwasher. Nope, use dishwasher detergent instead!

Indeed, I present the following 10 life lessons I want my kids to learn:

  1. Hold the door open for the person behind you. Make eye contact with her/him and smile, too.
  2. Know that I love you and you did the right thing when the person you held the door open for does not say “Thank you”, look you in the eye, or smile.
  3. Insurance is a necessary evil. By prepared that you cannot possibly afford all the home/auto/life/renters/jewelry insurance that an insurance agent thinks you should purchase. That’s okay. Carefully consider what you need and can afford. Just do your best.
  4. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: open yogurt and pudding cups AWAY from your body. That is, grab the tab or lid farthest from your body and peel it back towards yourself. This way when the yogurt or pudding inevitably flings out all over the place, it will fling out AWAY from you, not on you. Trust me on this one.
  5. When you get to the point in your life when you buy a car, be prepared that a car dealership will try and sell you 1,024 things besides the car. Like tire insurance or paint protection. This life lesson is kind of like the insurance one. Carefully consider what you need (probably none of it) and can afford (probably none of it). Just do your best.
  6. If you are old enough to buy a car, and no one buys cars anymore because everyone uses Uber, then remember that old people like your mom used to buy cars and be nice to the old people.
  7. Don’t pass gas in someone’s face, no matter if that person is your sibling and supposedly asked for it. Manners–and kindness–matter.
  8. This one’s for my daughter: wear nude colored undergarments beneath white shirts and white pants/shorts. Dark bras and panties show through, but so does white, which pops like a light bulb.
  9. Broccoli is good for you, but if you eat too much it could make you gassy.
  10. Always use your turn signal when driving. Never assume the other drivers can read your mind.

I’ll continue to ponder life’s greatest lessons and share them as I see fit.

Now what about you? What life lessons can you think of that your kids need to learn?

Comments

  1. I didn’t learn the nude underwear lesson until much later in life. You are doing your daughter a wonderful service by telling her now! And yes on the yogurt front. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been doused. As for the “helpful” suggestions from folks on what we need to buy, you’ve reminded me of whenever I buy some form of electronics. “Want warranty on that?” No thank you, the chance of your product failing within two years is on me. I’ll walk the dangerous line and think about it every single day. Thankfully my phone and my tv and my stereo (Ha! Does that date me?) are all past the two year warranties … Mind you, come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind warranties on them now. Now how do you feel about standing and offering your seat when an older person gets on the bus or subway? I’m of two minds now that I’m older. Twice in the past two months youngsters have hopped up for me. It was very, very odd. I mean I’m delighted that they are so courteous. BUT. Do I look like a crone? I guess so. How did that happen? I hasten to add that I did smile graciously and thank them. Sat down the first time, but not the second. She looked so hungover I knew she needed to sit more than I did.
    Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…Just TypiKel TestMy Profile

    • Your comments are always better than my posts. I love that, Kelly!

      No one has offered me a seat, yet. However, my friend (also in her 40s) was automatically given the senior discount at the Goodwill store last week and we are STILL laughing about that! And, I think I can now join the senior center in my town at the ripe age of 45. Might do it for the discounted classes. 🙂
      Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…10 Life Lessons I Want My Kids To LearnMy Profile

  4. Love this post!

    As for my advice: Leggings are not pants. Always — leggings are NOT pants — no matter how old you are.

  7. Some fab advice there, especially the yoghurt one; that one is a disaster if you get it wrong! I also like the underwear advice. I have tried to impress on my girls the importance of wearing matching underwear, but my 13 year old will not follow my advice (apparently matching undies are not cool if you’re a teen). Oh well, maybe daughter number 2 will take it on board. #happynowlinkup x

    • Oh, I’m so glad you agree with me about the yogurt. In other words, I’m glad I’m not the only one that’s ever happened to! Good luck with your girls. 🙂 Thanks for visiting.

  8. I feel the same way Kelly does about people offering me their seat on the train but I sure do expect everyone to offer their seat to my 8 1/2 month pregnant daughter and am shocked when they don’t! My two overriding words to live by are “Listen to your gut; it will rarely lead you astray.” and “If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.”
    Also, let me pass along this: the wise words of my dear friend’s mother (who passed away well into her 90s without a single wrinkle on her face).
    “Whatever you do to your face, do to your neck.”
    Mo recently posted…Traditions And Prognostications – The McLuxiesMy Profile

  11. Great post I will defiantly be teaching my son theses lessons especially the one about the yogurt it is so annoying when it goes all over you.

  12. Hahaha! Love these! I’m 42 years old and I JUST figured out to open a yogurt container away from me (and over a garbage can).

    I’d add that it’s very important (and not tattling) to tell your parents if someone is being unkind to you. Bullying seems to be more pervasive than ever and it’s even more critical to know about your children’s friends AND enemies.

    Great post! #happynowlinkup
    Carolina Twin Mom / mary Peterson recently posted…Andy Cat for PresidentMy Profile

  13. These are great! My son is an obsessed door holder. Sometimes I have to finally just pull him away because he will stand there for hours. I had to teach him about #2. Some people are so rude ;).
    We recently had to live through #5 with my daughter. Car dealerships make me crazy. Just when you think it’s almost over, they have 15 more things to try to sell you. You are so right. It’s amazing!
    Candace Playforth recently posted…Share Your Testimony Through BloggingMy Profile

    • Those car dealerships. I wish someone had warned me! I recently bought some portraits at JCPenney, too, and laughed when they tried to sell me more portraits when I picked my order up. You know, the portraits I had already ordered and now they wanted me to order more. Yikes.

  14. Haha! YES to that silly old yoghurt cup! Oh gosh it gives me heart palpitations! I keep thinking, “WHO MOVED THE WET WIPES?” .. 🙂 I still can’t believe people don’t use their turning signal… Drives me nuts! Great lessons.. #globalblogging

    • My son is bad about holding the door open. I just have to pound it into his thick skull over and over! I chalk it up to being a man. My daughter is 3 years younger than him and totally gets it.

  17. These are HILARIOUS!! I especially love #7!! lol

    We are looking at buying a used car this afternoon… I’m with you on that one!

    And add to your yogurt, those market fresh soups with those plastic containers… good Lord I can’t even count how many times I splashed myself ripping those tops off!

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