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The Funny Truth about Jury Duty

February 25, 2018 By Katy 8 Comments

I made it into my 40s before I got the dreaded letter in the mail: please report for jury duty.

So I whined and complained for a few weeks about my fate, asked everyone I knew about their experiences with jury duty (everybody got off), and then dragged my butt to the courthouse on a recent Friday morning.

Here, in chronological order, is what I endured:

  1. Go through metal detector and wonder about all the people in line who ask, “Can I bring my phone?” even though there are 52 signs that say you can’t bring your phone.
  2. Sign in, get a name tag, and write down my conflicts for the next 2 months.
  3. Take a seat in a windowless room with 109 of my newest friends.
  4. Return to the log up front because I suddenly remember another conflict.
  5. Go back again because I need to add my email address.
  6. Sit down. Stare ahead. Wonder what’s going on today as the letter from the court was pretty vague.Here's the funny truth about jury duty from someone who made it into her 40s before being called to do her civic duty!
  7. Listen to the clerk explain what’s going on today. Son of a Gun, it’s Jury SELECTION today, not even Jury Duty. They are picking the juries for the next 2 months at this courthouse. Hello? That would have been helpful to put in the letter. Geesh.
  8. Realize that I didn’t bring a book and that I should have.
  9. Make idle chit chat with the gentleman next to me.
  10. Watch a very cheesy “Lamp of Freedom” video about jury duty that was probably filmed in 1994.
  11. Try not to laugh out loud every time they say “duty” in the video.
  12. Check clock. I’ve been here 1 hour.
  13. Sit. Stare. Wonder.
  14. Watch The Andy Griffith Show, which is our entertainment now that the “Lamp of Freedom” video is over.
  15. Think of other courtroom shows that would be better than Andy Griffith: Law and Order, LA Law, People’s Court, Judge Judy, Night Court.
  16. Start to contemplate hurting something or someone after 4th time hearing that whistling from The Andy Griffith Show theme song.
  17. Walk up and down the hall liked a caged animal.
  18. Eat a donut.
  19. Eat a bagel.
  20. Get called to court. Watch 7 other lucky individuals get picked to serve on a drunk driving case in a month.
  21. Return to the jury room, its donuts and bagels, and The Andy Griffith Show.
  22. Get called back to court.
  23. Barely sit down. The court calls me as a juror.
  24. Realize that I know none of the judges, lawyers, defendants, or even the bailiff, that I have no experience with the case’s topic, and that I’m pretty much stuck on this jury.
  25. Reap the reward of $25.00 for more than half day of jury duty and for slowly going mad with The Andy Griffith Show theme song before getting to leave at 2:30 pm.
  26. Psych myself up to do my civic duty as a juror in a month.
  27. Duty. Hee hee.

That’s jury duty for me, well, at least the selection process. How was jury duty for you?

Pro tip: bring a book! And ear plugs should your court have a fondness for The Andy Griffith Show.

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Comments

  1. Kelly L McKenzie says

    February 26, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    Did they tell you how long the trial might be? I have been called for jury selection but both times the cases were settled out of court. My sister served on a 3 week murder trial and afterwards had stories for days. But she couldn’t really share them as she was sworn to secrecy. One of my kids’ teachers was on jury duty for an HIV case and she kept telling me it was an HOV case. I was most confused as to why a High-Occupancy Vehicle lane (in BC you can travel in that lane on the highway if you have 2 or more people in the car) case would last over 3 weeks …
    Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…That Time Dad Tagged Along On An Overseas Buying TripMy Profile

    Reply
    • Katy says

      February 27, 2018 at 1:51 pm

      Supposedly I’m there one to two days. Supposedly. Right now I’m hoping that I call the night before and they settled and I don’t have to go. That would be nice.

      Reply
  2. Terra Heck says

    February 27, 2018 at 4:45 am

    I’ve been lucky enough that I’ve never had to serve jury duty, and I’ve never been called. *knock on wood*
    Wish you best of luck with the actually jury duty!
    Terra Heck recently posted…Final Winners for FebruaryMy Profile

    Reply
    • Katy says

      February 27, 2018 at 1:52 pm

      I know, I’ve never done it before. Unfortunately, one of the guys sitting next to me at the selection thing told me he’s been called 4 straight years now. Once you’re in the system, you’re more likely to be called. Yikes!

      Reply
  3. Louise says

    March 1, 2018 at 3:57 am

    OMG good luck with it. From what I hear the process is exactly the same, just the TV show that changes!

    Reply
  4. Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says

    March 1, 2018 at 9:13 pm

    Ugh, I got my letter for jury duty in May. Can’t wait.
    Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…Are We Failing Our Boys?My Profile

    Reply
  5. Mo says

    March 2, 2018 at 12:42 pm

    Our jury system is one case/one day so if you don’t get selected on the day you are summoned to report, you are released. I have been called for duty (hee hee!) five times and every single time all potential jurors were sent home because the trials on the docket that day got settled or postponed. My husband, on the other hand, has been called 4 times and put on a jury 4 times! I think the process of being a juror would be fascinating in the abstract but faced with the reality of deciding someone’s fate would be very tough for me. I’m a true Libra who can see both sides of almost any argument. I’m pretty sure I’d cause a hung jury.
    Mo recently posted…Viking River Cruise From A Rookie’s Point Of ViewMy Profile

    Reply
  6. Dean says

    March 4, 2018 at 1:33 pm

    :::GULP::: Why did this make me all sorts of anxious!?! I got a letter for jury duty from South Carolina, however, I had already moved to Washington, so I couldn’t do it.
    Are you an Office fan? Because after I read this I thought about the Scranton Strangler and Toby. 🙂
    Thanks for sharing with us at #MMBH!

    Reply

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I'm Katy, the Experienced Bad Mom. Everything I've done wrong with my first child, I've done wrong with my second child as well. Come laugh with me!

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