Pregnancy vs. Parenthood

In my day job, I work with doctors who conduct research. Even though most of these doctors do not see patients, they still receive a lot of free magazines for their non-existent waiting rooms.

One such magazine is Pregnancy & Newborn. I must walk by this magazine on display at least 3 times a day. The covers always crack me up now that I’ve been in the real world of mothering for 8+ years. Pregnancy may be glamorous these days (!), but motherhood is not.

Let’s take a closer look at some of these covers:

What this cover says: I’m hot and ready for a glamorous night on the town!

Motherhood reality check: Your new definition of “hot” will be when the baby spikes a fever. You will also never look this good again or have any reason to dress up unless you are Beyoncé. Prepare to trade evening gowns for a night gown with milk stains and spit-up. And don’t ever think of wearing long, dangly earrings again. The baby’s gonna rip those right out of your ears.

What this cover says: Look at me! I’m so cute and have dewy, glowing skin!

Motherhood reality check: No one will ever look at you again after the cute baby’s arrived. That’s good, because your skin doesn’t glow anymore and you have bags under your eyes due to lack of sleep and stress.

What this cover says: Look at my perfect hairstyle and cool ring! What an accessory!

Motherhood reality check: You probably won’t do your hair for the first 6 months of Junior’s life. And accessories? Try a humongous diaper bag filled with wipes, diapers, changing pad, diaper cream, extra outfits, blankets, toys, etc. And a stroller. And a car seat.

See what I mean? Is there anything in these fashionable pregnancy pictures that makes you want to laugh? Or that makes you want to warn these unsuspecting women?!