“Insert Reward Card.” Insert. “Swipe card.” Swipe. “Pay here or inside?” Here. “Debit or credit?” Credit. “Enter zip code.” Enters zip code. “Scan your retina and sacrifice a pigeon at the gas pump.” Wait…WHAT? Okay, so the gas station pump at which I was filling up my car didn’t ask me to lay a sacrifice [Read More]
Random Valentine’s Day Thoughts From A Teenager’s Mom
Valentine’s Day as the mother of a teenager is weird. This is because the following random Valentine’s Day thoughts swirl through my head: I wonder if my son likes anyone? Or if anyone likes my son? Oh, who cares. Why is that important? He’s a wonderful person and shouldn’t worry about Valentine’s Day at his [Read More]
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Conversations With My Family About 80s Music
The following is a true story about a family listening to 80s music on a road trip. I have changed their names to protect the innocent. I’m kidding. Usually I don’t mention their names anymore because supposedly that makes me an oversharing, hyper mommy blogger. I digress. The scene A couple weekends ago my family [Read More]
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Thoughts I Have During Yogilates Class
I’ve been taking a yogilates class once a week for ten years now. For those of you who may not know, yogilates is a blend of yoga and pilates. (Yes, it would be much better if it was a blend of yoga and lattes!) I can’t believe I’ve been subjecting myself to such torture, er, [Read More]
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The Long and Short of It
I received the devastating news at my daughter’s well-child visit when she was two years old. “Your daughter is in the 75th percentile for height,” the pediatrician reported. The belly on my 5’11” frame knotted. I uncrossed my long legs and leaned forward in my chair. “Wha-a-a-t?” I stammered. “Does 75th percentile today mean the same as [Read More]
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10 Signs You’ve Hit Midlife
“Are you a midlife blogger?” the questionnaire asked. No. Wait. “Are you a midlife blogger? (45+)” the questionnaire further clarified. Well, I guess so. I don’t FEEL midlife, but if the average lifespan is 76 years or whatever, then I guess I AM midlife. And, as I thought about it, there are quite a few [Read More]
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Time to Laugh
Who needs to laugh? I know I do. After the recent tragedies in Orlando, I need a moment to giggle. Taking a second to laugh or smile doesn’t make light of the tragedies, but it momentarily lifts my soul and reminds me to enjoy life this day, this moment. If you need a laugh, I hope [Read More]
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Look Back in Humor
“How’s your blog? I haven’t seen anything lately. Are you still doing it?” my stylist asked me while I was getting a trim. “Uh,” I stammered unintelligibly. “Yes, I’m still doing it.” Then my heart curled up and died a little bit. Yes. I’m definitely still doing my blog. However, once I got over the [Read More]
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10 Reasons I Can’t Wait To Be a Senior Citizen
Before going to a rock concert recently, I realized I would be staying up waaaaay past my usual bedtime of 10:30. To prepare, I tried to eat healthily the day of the concert, drink lots of water, nap, and…oh, who am I kidding? I drank a giant soft drink, wished for the best, went to [Read More]
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How to Treat Your Chaperone
Those of you who follow my social media channels may recall that I spent 2 days chaperoning my son’s 6th grade field trip to Toronto. My duties entailed riding a humongous motor coach for approximately 12 hours and escorting my group of four kids through one fort, one legislative assembly, one museum, one gigantic tower, [Read More]
