I walked into the crowded locker room. I gently tapped a mom on the shoulder, who turned around. Her eyes lit up. “Heyyyyyy!” she said happily. A few other parents turned to look. I made eye contact and we exchanged knowing smiles.
This was the scene last week after my ten-year-old son’s hockey practice. Half the team is returning from last season so many of the parents already know each other. Plus, I’m sleeping with the head coach. (Ha!) Yes, my husband is the head coach of hockey team for the second year in a row.
So this makes me First Lady? Coach’s wife? Assistant Coach? Manager? Knower of everything?
No. This makes me the woman who knows nothing and is afraid that everyone thinks I know something!
So I’d better set the parents straight NOW, especially since half our team is new this year and might EXPECT something from me.
I’m thinking of sending an email like this one:
Dear Parents,
Hi, my name is Katy and I’m married to your child’s hockey coach. Welcome to his team! I wanted to take this opportunity to lower your expectations of my involvement and make explicit what I do and do not know.
I DO know:
- That goals are good,
- The Detroit Red Wings are awesome,
- When my husband is out of town for business and when he’s coming back,
- and what kind of gift card he might prefer if you want to thank him at the end of the year.
I DON’T know:
- Much about hockey besides that goals are good and the Detroit Red Wings are awesome,
- When our next game is,
- When our next practice is,
- Where our next game or practice is (hey, his dad always takes him to and from practices or games!)
- Why your child plays one position but not another,
- Who is going to be captain this year,
- All that blue line/offsides/icing stuff,
- and particularly how to get my miserable 6-year-old daughter unattached from my leg at every one of her big brother’s practices and games where her dad is also behind the bench and unavailable to help me with my miserable 6-year-old daughter.
Again, welcome to my husband’s team! Any questions about anything, please feel free to contact him!
I hope it’s an awesome year!
Sincerely,
Katy, aka the coach’s wife, but not the manager or assistant coach or anyone who really knows much about the team.
How about you readers? Do you have expectations from the coach’s spouse when your child plays sports?
Katy,
Great points but I’m fairly sure you have piece of information incorrect. It’s the Boston Bruins that are awesome. I’d feel awful if you walked around saying the wrong team, even if you are from Michigan 😉
-Loriann
Loriann recently posted…I’ve Been Busy Making a Baby!
Ha ha ha! And you had me going for a split second–I thought someone was about to add something *serious* to my list of what I do and don’t know.
Sorry nothing serious (although hockey team loyalty is important! ) I’m only pregnant with my first! I am still clueless to anything useful regarding kids 😉
Loriann recently posted…I’ve Been Busy Making a Baby!
Hee hee! I love that you jumped in and tried to set me straight, although we shall agree to disagree on the Bruins/Red Wings!.
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…The Coach’s Wife
I’m a soccer coach’s wife- I’ve learned quite a bit about soccer over the past 12 years of being around soccer.
BUT, I have no clue when the next game is or even where it is. Or any of the details about the team- go ask a coach or the team manager(that’s definitely NOT me).
Shell recently posted…9 Soccer Mom Problems
Yes, this is my 2nd year as the coach’s wife and I just get the sense that these other parents sometimes look at me like I should be in the know. And I’m not in the know. Especially because I’m usually dragging around my youngest who does. not. want. to. be. there!
I think it’s a great letter! Last week Henry asked me to take him to soccer practice instead of Daddy. I told him I couldn’t and he asked why. So I went with “honesty is the best policy” and tole him it was because I didn’t want to. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so I guess I win!
Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted…Friday Night Football
HA! SO funny!!! My hubs coached soccer and football for a while and I would have written the VERY same letter!!! 😉
Chris Carter recently posted…Devotional Diary: Locks Of Love. Locks Of Life.
I’m the assistant coach to my husband for our son’s third grade soccer team. My son describes our jobs like this:
1. Mommy runs practice and does all of the yelling.
2. Daddy does all of the email, paperwork, and positions.
It’s not quite that simple, but I rarely j ow what time our game is any give weekend until the night before… When I ask my husband.
This is, however, a great way to prevent my miserable 5 year old daughter from attaching herself to my leg. She can’t keep up! 🙂
Good luck! (And, Go Caps!)
I love the hockey loyalty showing through!
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…The Coach’s Wife
I was assistant coach to Brady’s K-1st soccer team last year and knew nothing! I had to Google “what are the rules of soccer?” LOL! The coach was not much for communication (we’re not exactly besties). But Brady thought it was the most awesome thing in the world and I cheered those kids on with all my heart. A few parents thanked me afterwards and that was so nice. Not sure if I’ll be a “coach-ish” type person again this year or just cheer them on as a Mom.
Stephanie @ From the Burbs to the Boonies recently posted…Guest posting: A financial fresh start
I only met our son’s soccer coach’s wife once. The wives didn’t seem too heavily involved in the teams which honestly is fine with me. I know they have lives to live. 🙂
TheBargainBabe recently posted…30 Letter -H- snacks
Ha! My husband is the T-ball coach, but he emails them from his work email and calls them from his cell phone–so they don’t know how to get hold of me!
Tammy Doiel recently posted…October is National Field Trip Month!
Okay, I have to say I busted a gut when I read your line that you were “sleeping with the head coach”. With that said, I sleep with the scorekeeper on my son’s baseball team. It’s amazing how much your kids sports team becomes like your own family.
PS-As far as hockey goes, the Flyers are the *only* team 😉 He He.
Jen @ Making Our Life Matter recently posted…Need A Change
Ha! I’ve got the Bruins, Caps, and now the Flyers representing here in the comments! Who knew so many moms were such big fans? Love it!
I wasn’t very good with that stuff either when my husband was coaching. He was the one that took the kids to practice and games then…he told me when to show up. I’m only in charge of pictures.
Michelle recently posted…Teaching Character: There is no I in TEAM
This made me laugh! I feel the same way with being the youth pastor’s wife. Apparently, us wives are supposed to know everything! 😉
Michelle recently posted…Marriage Monday: Date Ideas
Ooo, that would be harder being the Pastor’s wife because that’s year-round! No break for you. 🙂
This was so funny. We aren’t at the coaching stage yet, but I do hope my husband does not take it up. I know nothing about sports and don’t much care 🙂 But then I could always borrow the letter you wrote.
shefali recently posted…The Baby Sitter
Hi Katy,
Perhaps an appliquéd t-shirt would work better. Wear it to every game!!
Warmly,
Lynn 🙂
Lynn Kellan recently posted…I screamed on a date. Again.
You mention the t-shirt, but one of the things that prompted this post was a Thirty-One catalog where a woman was sporting a tote with “Coach’s Wife” embroidered on it. And I was like, Who does that?!? I would much rather put, “Coach’s Wife. I know nothing.” on my Thirty-One tote.
Hahaha! I love this! We have no kids playing sports but we are entering our 4th year of coaching! My husband started when we were engaged, now people and the rink are learning who I am. It’s so true we don’t know much don’t ask us about your child, I know maybe as much as you.
What a great idea, we are moving from house to high school this upcoming summer I am so sending an email out like this!