Experienced Bad Mom

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The Funny Truth About Spam

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Have you looked in your spam folder lately? Those messages are comedy gold, people.

Here’s a sampling from my own spam box, for your entertainment.Here's the funny truth about spam messages.

The spam about 2.5 million dollars

Greetings,
I am Mrs Anne BRUNO, base in Cote d’Ivoire I write to relate to you of my intention to use my money 2.5 million dollars for charity work in your country.  I was married to Late ALLEN BRUNO who was a contractor with the Government of Cote d’Ivoire before he died after few days in the hospital. I have been suffering from cancer I want to know if I can trust you to use this money for charity/orphanage and 20% will be for you as compensation. Please contact me, so that I will give you more details.
Yours in the Lord,
Mrs Anne BRUNO.

Wow. Mrs. BRUNO wants me to help her distribute her 2.5 million to charity? And she’ll give me 20%?  Must be my lucky day!

However, I am CURIOUS why she CAPITALIZES her LAST NAME all the time?

Also, is Cote d’Ivoire a real place? Asking for a friend.

The spam about the business proposal

Greetings to you, I have a deal that involves the transfer of deposit of fund totaling $42.6 Million (Forty two Million six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) to you as the beneficiary and is risk free. Please contact me on my private email below for any questions and clarification. Sincerely, Li Xiung.

Little ol’ me is the beneficiary? Well, actually “you” is the beneficiary, but I’m sure he’ll learn my name eventually. It’s risk free, too.

Plus, he wrote out exactly how much $42.6 million is in words, with random capitalization. That’s so helpful.

The spam from Paul in India

VALUE TRUST FINANCE HOUSE 
NEW DELHI INDIA 

Dear Sir 

Are you unable to get loans because of your bad credit status? Do not worry. 

We are here to give out, business loan Personal Loans. We can help you get any loans for all your requirements. Your bad credit will not be a problem. Email us.

Regards 
Paul A. Runner

First, I love that they referred to me as “Sir”. That’s not suspicious at all. Second, as an English major, I really enjoyed reading “We are here to give out, business loan Personal Loans.” Isn’t that a beautifully crafted and punctuated sentence?

That’s it for the random sampling of spam from my email. If you are feeling down, then go read your spam. It will definitely make you laugh. AND it may make you richer than your wildest dreams. Not really. But hopefully you knew that already, right?

RIGHT?!?

Comments

  1. The west African Ivory Coast nation has a no-translation clause in their constitution, so it’s always rendered in French now.

  3. I used to work in marketing and the company made me post on Craigslist even though it never brought in real traffic. I had to set up a completely separate email address just for Craigslist responses. I was required to read every one of them and respond to any that may be “real”. Every now and then one would come through with names, addresses and businesses names that were true to our area. After a couple of emails it would become clear they were fake. If reading those emails doesn’t make you laugh, try emailing them back. It only gets better.

  8. Ok so now I’m really worried about Anne BRUNO’s plan because she sent me the same note. If both of us agree to help her that’s leaves only 60% for the charity/orphanage in our countries. Which, of course, begs the question “Would Canada and the US each get 30% ?” I mean she didn’t specify which country, right? So shall I reach out to Ms BRUNO and ask for clarification? I know, I’ll do a runner and reach out to Paul. He deals in loans and yes, he had me at “We are here to give out, business loan Personal Loans.”

    Yours in the Lord. I’ll get back to you ASAP.
    kelly L McKenzie recently posted…How My Sister Mothered My Children When I Couldn’tMy Profile

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