Have you looked in your spam folder lately? Those messages are comedy gold, people.
Here’s a sampling from my own spam box, for your entertainment.
The spam about 2.5 million dollars
I am Mrs Anne BRUNO, base in Cote d’Ivoire I write to relate to you of my intention to use my money 2.5 million dollars for charity work in your country. I was married to Late ALLEN BRUNO who was a contractor with the Government of Cote d’Ivoire before he died after few days in the hospital. I have been suffering from cancer I want to know if I can trust you to use this money for charity/orphanage and 20% will be for you as compensation. Please contact me, so that I will give you more details.
Yours in the Lord,
Mrs Anne BRUNO.
Wow. Mrs. BRUNO wants me to help her distribute her 2.5 million to charity? And she’ll give me 20%? Must be my lucky day!
However, I am CURIOUS why she CAPITALIZES her LAST NAME all the time?
Also, is Cote d’Ivoire a real place? Asking for a friend.
The spam about the business proposal
Greetings to you, I have a deal that involves the transfer of deposit of fund totaling $42.6 Million (Forty two Million six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) to you as the beneficiary and is risk free. Please contact me on my private email below for any questions and clarification. Sincerely, Li Xiung.
Little ol’ me is the beneficiary? Well, actually “you” is the beneficiary, but I’m sure he’ll learn my name eventually. It’s risk free, too.
Plus, he wrote out exactly how much $42.6 million is in words, with random capitalization. That’s so helpful.
The spam from Paul in India
VALUE TRUST FINANCE HOUSE
NEW DELHI INDIA
Are you unable to get loans because of your bad credit status? Do not worry.
We are here to give out, business loan Personal Loans. We can help you get any loans for all your requirements. Your bad credit will not be a problem. Email us.
Paul A. Runner
First, I love that they referred to me as “Sir”. That’s not suspicious at all. Second, as an English major, I really enjoyed reading “We are here to give out, business loan Personal Loans.” Isn’t that a beautifully crafted and punctuated sentence?
That’s it for the random sampling of spam from my email. If you are feeling down, then go read your spam. It will definitely make you laugh. AND it may make you richer than your wildest dreams. Not really. But hopefully you knew that already, right?