Experienced Bad Mom and Attachment Parenting

On Monday, I touched on the Time Magazine cover seen round the mommy world. It got me thinking about my own brief stints with attachment parenting.

I live near a college town, which means attachment parenting is bigger here than in other parts of the country. Wearing your baby is common and I’ve seen a myriad of slings and contraptions to do so.

My firstborn, Will, was an awful sleeper. I tried anything that anyone told me to get that kid to chillax! When I joined a new mom group and everyone was wearing their babies, I tried that, too.

And I sucked at it.

I bought a $30 sling from Babies-R-Us. I watched the video (those slings are surprisingly complex!), got pointers from my new moms group, and tried it out with Will when he was 3  months old. My first day I walked around the neighborhood, hoping the lulling motion of my movement was preparing him for a wonderful night’s sleep and all the neurological development that babywearing supposedly encourages.

Instead, I think the lulling motion made him throw up all over me. Look at this picture. You can see the upchuck brewing!

Thaaar he blows!

I tried babywearing off and on for a few more weeks, but it just didn’t work for me.

When my daughter was born, I tried again. I went all out and bought the super-duper fancy sling that Cindy Crawford endorsed. This sling was a little better, but I still felt that my baby was going to fall out at any moment. I ended up only wearing it to do laundry. It was handy to have both hands free to stuff the washing machine.

In a nutshell, I was a complete and utter babywearing attachment parent failure!

My "detached" children

Did you try babywearing? What fabulous thing worked for all the other mommies but didn’t work for you?

 

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I Got A Rock

Remember this infamous scene from “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown“?

“I got five pieces of candy!”
“I got a chocolate bar!”
“I got a quarter!”
Charlie Brown: “I got a rock.”

Well, I got a rock for Mother’s Day.

And I love it!

Actually, I got several rocks and some awesome bits and pieces that my daughter Sydney, 5, collected for me. About 2 weeks before Mother’s Day, she started bringing treasures home in her pockets. She scolded me for trying to look at these treasures. Working diligently, she stored and hid the treasures in a small box until she presented me with the collection for Mother’s Day.

You’ll see I received rocks, some feathers, a spring, leaves, seeds, and a snakeskin (a weathered piece of plastic grocery bag, but –shh!– don’t tell Sydney that’s what it is).

I love it all.

What have your kids given you or made for you lately?

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I Am Mom Enough

Most of the folks reading my blog are parents, grandparents, and a few soon-to-be parents. So I think the majority of you must have heard, read, or seen the controversial new Time Magazine cover:

Now I won’t go into a thoughtful discussion of this cover like the one you’ll find over at The Mommy Psychologist, or a passionate rant about it like the one you can find at People I Want To Punch In The Throat or a zillion other blogs.

Let me just say that stuff like this is EXACTLY why I embrace my calling as the Experienced Bad Mom. No matter what I do or how well I do it, there is always some magazine, some news person, some other parent, some human being, etc. that claims I’m not doing it right or not doing it well enough.

It is impossible to be a perfect parent. So here’s to all my imperfections. They may make me a bad mom according to society’s unrealistic expectations. However, my supposed imperfections make me a real, honest-to-goodness mom who loves her kids and is trying her best. And that’s good enough for me.

Feel free to share your thoughts. Or just give yourself a double fist pump!

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What I Don’t Want for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is this weekend and everywhere I go I’ve been bombarded by ads for jewelry, flowers, spa treatments, books, and what not. I really don’t care what my kids get me for Mother’s Day. Well, that’s not entirely true. I do care enough to hope that it’s NOT any of these:

1. A meal at Hooter’s

Great idea, honey! I've always wanted to go to Hooter's on my special day!Really? What am I supposed to say:  Thanks, kids! I love my free wings and don’t pay any attention to the scantily clad woman with huge ta ta’s serving them! No, I could think of no place I’d rather avoid on Mother’s Day than Hooters.

2. A meal I have to plan and/or cook

That’s no fun. That’s reality.

3. A long cleany thingy for the cobwebs in the corner of my ceilings

photo source

I need this, really I do. But I don’t want it wrapped up with a big bow for Mother’s Day. My husband’s a clean freak, so he might actually be excited to get this for Father’s Day.

4. What my mother always wanted for Mother’s Day

I’m the middle of 3 girls. We were all born within 5 years. Growing up, whenever we asked our mom what she wanted for Mother’s Day, she always replied seriously, “I just want you all to get along for the day.” Then she sighed loudly. I could never give her what she wanted, mostly because my sisters were buttheads, so I’m certainly not asking the impossible of my children.

What about you? Is there anything you’d rather not receive on Mother’s Day?

P.S. My sisters weren’t really buttheads!

 

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Wordless(ish) Wednesday: The Lego Edition

This is the desk I bought my 3rd-grader at the beginning of the school year.

I was hoping it would be good for homework.

Nope.

It turned out to be really great for building and displaying Legos!

 

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